Ghum Ghum Ghum Ghummakad!
Therapeutic Catharsis happens to you all the time. Sometimes we seek it professionally. Maybe we find our Release, and maybe not.
Some search in Counselling Interactions from friends or professionals. Some search in spiritual pursuits. Some find them in books.
Some like us flow with the life incorporating all forms of experiences and surrendering to daily routine of earning and expanding our experiences as and when we can.
Life for Me and my Better half Nozzer, began, lets say pretty recently. Until a few years, we simply reacted and drifted. We bore scars from traumatic events. Now when we look back, some trauma might have been karma and some we unreasonably created. Some trauma we felt we healed, some bitterness we felt will remain with us as unpleasant part of ourselves.
True healing comes at the moment when you can playback your memories with peace and put things into perspective. We are humans and many a times we only retain and remember those strains of memories exactly to serve our dramatic purposes.
Playback Theatre, specifically, Ghummakad Group led by Chetnaa Mehrotra was such a revealing experience that unexpectedly but sensitively brought a Sensitive and Much needed "Closure" for me.
To give a quick introduction. I and Nozzer were childhood sweethearts (If you consider 17 as child
) -
Diverse religions and upbringing. We married in early twenties. Family angst festered high. His folks were unable to accept a girl from an outside fold. During a critical juncture my husband was hospitalised and things took worse turns.
Immediate family of his withdrew support. 27 days I fought for his life invoking my Gods and praying for the three month old baby inside me. He survived miraculously but life had to show us the ugly side to human greed. Our business premises were captured by his sister and mother. Only our room remained with us. With a ten day old baby I had to decide to take full time work along with a husband who had battled death. His body had taken a huge toll due to unwanted surgeries.
Emotionally too, he was alienated by his immediate family. But we got through. Made a living. Created our own house but each time we fought these bitter episodes were expertly utilised to hurt. We healed a bit and hurt a lot and healed. Spiritually too I sought explanations and clarity. Found a bit and yet I knew. Something still remained incomplete. There was blame and guilt and bitterness ready to raise its vitriolic presence.
We began home-schooling our kids couple of years back. It brought tons of peace and newer philosophy. We learned to relax and enjoy. We learned to ask questions. Claim our creative self.
We learned to meet new people and I am glad I met Chetnaa as part of a Home-schooling Forum. She invited us for her Playback. Curious, we went; and Grateful and Alive we came back never to walk on the Bitterness Zone.
We had no idea what it was.
We sat expecting some sad long winding wordology that intellectuals come up with...
To my absolute thrill and making me still, Chetnaa broke into a song...
I had goose bumps.. I realised I had lost that "Uninhibited part" of me that can Sing and Dance. Being a Gujarati, Garba was a favourite form in childhood.
Fighting with life I had left it behind somewhere.
Something shifted... And I smiled and surrendered to enjoying.
I saw films and theatre, they rarely touch the chord that is at the core.
Here there were live folks listening deeply without judgement our life stories... Deeply so... And enacting exactly as it unfolded and as they interpreted...
I opened up and shared my inner being. That story which I had myself forgotten
In the larger struggle territory the young girl who fell in for a young boy with stars 
in their hearts
.
The first song our heart created... The first naive promises we made... The struggle.. Mohammed mirrored my young Nozzer 's Vulnerable promise to love forever, to be together...
As the playback artists one by one made alive our naive vows, our hardships... It hit me gently...
We are Together... What a long path and life changing decisions we made...
We have such a lovely life!
Seeing myself out there on stage was Healing beyond explanations.
It brought closure for me.
It dawned on me which parts to keep and I shed the bitter parts.
Hell! I appeared a cute woman as Durgeshwari caught and reflected my story.
Mohammed made Nozzer an adorable and Desirable partner and I realised what an utter waste to blame and hurt such a nice guy.
The playback artists on a Spiritual level made us meet and Unite.. We were together, yet an awkwardness was seeping in as certain forgiveness remained to be sought and to be Given.
We forgave each other that Day. I found love again and a part of me. Authentic and easy going. There was no need to prove and no need to be afraid of judgement. Why Defend... Why be afraid.?Why not just live???
As a writer I began spilling out short stories that tapped human pathos...As a person I relaxed to have room for you and me.
Then, we invited Chetnaa for Playback in our Class.
That day when the little one's misery found its voice in The Artists tears... Everyone including me, Shahen and Shahaan and the audience and Artists burst into tears.
Stories are not only the ones that are unusual... It is found in usual stuff... Daily fleeting feeling... Which goes unnoticed.
My Shahaan found an eloquent way to relate to his elder brother "I miss you so much when you are not around..."
I am Grateful for the artists deep understanding and communicating to Shahen all the Love Shahaan had. They already bond well. This took to another level. Shahen now no longer views as idle clinging or empty complain but palpable emotions of Shahaan.
Understanding Deepens and bonds forged are life long. Shahaan feels a closure that his feelings were correctly and sensitively conveyed. What Joy and deep sense of Satisfaction the little one feels. Only I as a mother could know. It set Shahaan free to love and accept himself for he feels heard, understood and Valued.
Thank you...
Chetnaa Mehrotra
Mohammed Khan
Preeti Upadhyay
Manda Bhagat
Arti Bhandari
Durgeshwari Sharma
Loads and Loads of love from a Mom and a Human who no longer uses the bitter phrases to hurl during arguments instead silence is a better healer I have found that can iron out things
Love Love and Much love
SONNAL PARDIWALA
