Thursday, April 28, 2016

Rigmarole

Rigmarole…

Her cell phone showed wee hours 4:45 a.m. She stood inside the elevator with wooden legs. Her spirit crushed and unwilling to go further. The elevator buzzed and moved to fourth floor and vibrated to a noisy stop. She did not want to open the door and move into that abode which she had lovingly bought and paid installments to call it her own. Thick tension and disappointment awaited her. Helplessness and despair!!! Arguments and screaming matches!

However much she tried she just could not control the spiraling of verbal torrent of accuses and resentments. She saw “No way out of the predicament” 
She told herself it happens in many a marriage and according to her mother she must work it out. But each day told her... it will not. She cannot forgive …she wanted to but cannot …just cannot. It was a No win situation for her. Her Mom would be mortified if she ever were to think of ending her wedlock. For lock it was…a lock whose key was totally missing!!!
She would have to face “I told you so” before and truth be told she was so tired and weary she did not even want to face herself in the Mirror of the elevator. There was only one option to end the pain and predicament … escape the shame and humiliation of knowing her husband bonding with another one. It destroyed her sense of feminine respect and created a purported image of a woman less worthy.a woman who could not keep her home together…
She had tried…to be modern and broad minded and overlook the late night escapades of her husband and spend many a lonely nights in her three bedroom flat in this posh locality. She had also thriftily managed to finance the Loans single-handedly and even manage the home chores all by herself. For an outsider she had done well.
Only she knew how lonely and battered she was. No she did not face any physical abuse but verbal abuse and slinging matches were becoming daily routine. She had put up with all the fancies her husband created and financed some foolhardy investments. She was most definitely not willing to contribute to keeping another woman happy. She wanted to think no more…nothing mattered more...nothing can change her life more…she had nowhere to go…no one who cared for her…
Her old parents would be too distraught to hear her woes and siblings were too enmeshed in their own affairs to even recognize her pain.

On an impulse, she pressed the button to the last floor, a resolve forming in her dead eyes. She came out of the elevator and stared at the staircase that lead down and then upward glance to the path that led to the terrace. To her surprise she found the terrace door open. She moved onto the openness. The Air was cool but without movement. A resentful smile escaped her being. Everything had relegated itself to being without movement in her life including the Air around her.
She moved to the wall and looked down. The ten-storeyed building stood regally as one of the best housing facility this area offered. Luckily for her the terrace was open, else mostly the doors were securely locked and one needed special permission to access it in any time of the day.
It was as if Even Nature was conspiring to bring about conditions favorable for her exit and let her go…all conditions met for Finale Act of her…unlocked terrace...no one around …
One jump…would end it all…she just had to sit up on the para-pet and carefully just jump…or shall she jump forcefully?? She Gingerly gauged the height and thought of leveraging herself on the parapet...few awkward moments...she realised she did not know exactly how to do it right ! 
“Ha Ha …why am I supposed to carefully jump? What does it matter how I jump? Who will give me marks for jumping right??”

She whirled with a start…She was abruptly pulled out of her reverie by this disdainful,reproaching teenage voice…half boy…half male…looking down the same way as hers and planning the same thing as she was…only a little more Dramatically vocal as if giving Subtitles to His Ongoing Act!
She recoiled…horrified at the implication of what this young boy was about to do…she had to act fast...or….
The guy she recognised was Ashav  from her society…must be in ninth or tenth…
Instinctively, she sternly send out a warning “What are you doing here Ashav? Do your parents know??”
Ashav seemed to stiffen and turned around guiltily, his eyes brimming with unshed tears.
His head bowed low and his fingers were trembling…

She took a step forward and held him by his shoulders. His agonised frame shrinking at the touch expecting reprimands and the pain of being caught…
“Sit down…Here take a sip of water”
She always had a small bottle in her handbag and she was glad it came handy today.
“Thank you Sugandha aunty”
He spoke very soflty and took a sip …breathing shallow and sort of collecting himself.
For a while no one spoke…an endless silence where both were taking in their internal war and the discovery of what just transpired. She realised that if she had not intervened quickly the little one would have been a pool of blood and mass of broken bones. It filled her with indignation ,horror and revulsion...
Her chiding came out as scathing “Do you know you would be a mass of broken bones down there?”
He looked further down…
She continued “Now you are ashamed…look at me…do you even realise that your parents would have been in such dire circumstances? The whole society would blame them for your Act…for life they would blame themselves???"
“No one cares for me Sughanda Aunt …all they care is my marks…whether I pass or not…whether I do well in studies or not…No one cares…” His voice broke into a sob...almost choked on a sob…he was struggling not to cry or howl…male dignity at work…
“And How did you jump to that conclusion?? Have you taken a Survey of their feelings?” Her eyes flashed a daring warning to defy.
Truth be told her words surprised her…she, herself, was here on that premise...
“No one cares and they will not be in my favour once they know my marks!!!"
“So you have got less marks? In which standard are you in?"
“9th…I was supposed to go in tenth” His eyes brimmed with fresh tears.
“Ah” She took in sympathetically “ So you failed in Ninth grade exams?? So??”
“My Mom Dad will be Livid…ashamed of me…all my friends will make fun of me…my teachers will insult …not openly but…” His voice choked thick with emotions

She understood the anguish but still reeled at the young life that could have been sacrificed for something that seemed gigantic to him…but so miniscule in the long run…
She glanced at the forlorn figure and contradicting him at this juncture seemed futile…
“Yes it is a difficult situation…I agree but..."
“You will never understand aunty you I have heard have always been a topper …you earn so well…you have your own house…you are a boss in your office…what you will know about children…you do not have any…!!!"
That stung…that was rude and cheeky…he knew quite some things about her…but she fumed at the barb...the last one...if only he knew her situation…
"You young teenagers …you are the rudest lot of this time…you  do not think beyond yourself…so you did not study well…you did not get good marks…so what try again…for a while everyone will be unhappy… maybe they will scorn you for a while, ridicule you, but the storm will pass…”
“Sorry aunt but you are a woman...what you know of my problems…what will you do in my situation???”
She sucked in a breath…technically she was there for the same purpose as him…but she cannot leave this young one here…alone to jump…or preach her about problems…or let him know what she was about to do…
She softened a bit…offered a slight smile…sat closer to him…
“ As you  said I was indeed a topper so true I would not know of your situation but what I do know is that ”There is always an option to live” Her own words sounded phony to her but she plodded along for this little soul that was sitting broken and lost.
“What can I do??? My folks will not love me anymore once the truth is out…they have my younger brother who will fulfil all their wishes…”
His voice cracked a bit and jarbled a bit.
She sighed…sibling angst…so rampant and endorsed by influences all around. She remembered all too well her phase of feeling peeved by the attention showered on her siblings…only to know too well now that all felt…shortchanged whatever the treatment meted out…
“Even I had siblings and even I felt my folks as you put it loved them more and not me…but that is so not true…when I look back…you are equally special Kid to them…”
“You do not know my folks…they will not care…”

A surge of indignation rose at the adamant immature rejoinder. Anger flared a little. 
She bristled and said “So what do you think…your parents will see your dead body sigh and instruct the watchman to dispose it in the dustbin and go back to their day??? Is that what you think will happen??”
He winced but stubbornness began to show in his taut frame.
She continued “ You young people think everything is an adventure…you give up so fast on everything…so something did not work out and went wrong…there are constructive action steps one can take”
“You are a woman…you will not understand…” He dismissed and slightly turned away as if to say go away…
She was not about to give in and her anger could not be reined in now…it was full throttle in steam…
“You think women do not have problems???”
“Yes they might…and they would be the first one to jump like I would…"
"Wait a minute what do you mean??? " was the child reading her mind???
“See Aunt I may sound rude but if you had a husband who cheated on you and if you had a bad marriage…well you too would do the same thing…you would not take the constructive step that you suggest…"

Her eyes narrowed for a second…how did he know…? She hardly interacted with anyone in the building as her night shift prevented social life of any sort.
“How do you know??” she demanded slowly…softly…
“Gossip travels …when people fight…aunties love to hear and love to tell…” 
He smiled a little impishly…for the first time…and his eyes brightened with mischief with this shared secret.
Tension seemed to dissipate a little…she smiled too. She never knew her slinging matches were entertainment for bored femmes of the society. So much for privacy!
She smiled back “So my Gossip magazine you think I will consider jumping from here instead of kicking my waylaid husband out??”
He shrugged his shoulders “It is an easy and glamorous way to end it dramatically…besides your husband will be hounded by police…you can harass him as much as he did…after your exit of course”

This was getting out of her hands and he was speaking way beyond his years she knew that…but she began enjoying talking openly about herself and her apparently “ miserable situation” She liked the thought of kicking her husband out a bit too much which she had voiced defiantly and accidentally just now…whyever did she never think of taking that " constructive Action " and ask him to leave. It was out and out her Home she had paid every single penny. He should be shown the Door and here she waas surveying the Parapet and Exit options. Naively the child had put her victim mentality " in her face".

She decided to challenge the kid as well “So you too wanted to glamourously teach a lesson to your parents for loving you less and then have police fire them too??”
All smile left the bright face with a defeated “No the more I think about it…I like it less...I think my angels send you to sort of open my eyes…I will face their anger…they will hate me for a while…” he was so vulnerable and hard on himself...all for less marks...
“You can win them over by working hard and talking to them about your interests…hmm…”
He acknowledged it silently and asked “But aunty what were you doing here at this hour?”

She could never tell him the truth…

“I was spending time alone thinking of some constructive action…unlike you teenagers who think of squandering everything of your resources…time…love and life…” it was her time to send in a barb.
He grimaced and nodded “You will not tell anybody please “
“Only if you promise to never return on this terrace ever…I will not take chances and strictly ask the secretary to ensure it is locked at all times”
He smiled briefly and giggled “Only if you promise to not give another tele series episode to my Bored aunties…”
The little guy had some nerve…but she felt immeasurably light and so she sighed happily
“Hmm…the tele series shall go off air...promise...Come now…its already the time when your folks will begin to search you…”
She got up indicating he get up too “I do not trust you I have to leave you at your door…” she expressed her intent when he made no move to get up. 

Sensing her determination, he sighed, gathered his books and got up…
She firmly slided the grill with a knowing reprimanding look at him for ever considering …and walked ahead…he followed with a bowed head …

“Ashavbaba again you went to study on the terrace?? Did you put off the lights??? I will lose my Job because of you someday…!!" Came the half reproachful half smiling chiding of their watchman.

She turned around to look at the exchange. The watchman ruffled Ashav’s hair and gave him a false whack which the Lad took in good naturedly…

“My flat has come aunt…I have the Keys…Bye..”
She stood a little frowning …something did not seem quite …
“Hey Ashav…Congratulations buddy…first rank in Division and first prize in Dramatics…my folks are going to frame your pic on my bedroom wall…Stop being so talented dude…” Rang a voice of another kid his age who was alighting quick for early morning Jog…

She whirled around…her eyes mirroring her full blown surprise…
She narrowed her eyes at him who stopped midway at opening the latch…turned and smiled impishly…with the Morning newspaper in hand!!!



Sonnal Pardiwala©

Friday, April 1, 2016

Ki se Ka and Ka se Ki…

Slap a child and ask him or her to pick up the Chips pack that was just devoured…chances are rebellion will stretch in that little body…SHOW A FUNNY CUTE BONNY toon stating the Merits and make Cleaning up a Glamorous thing to do…child will jump skip and hop to the dustbin with the litter packs and throw it and feel useful…

We Humans are all Kids in our own ways…deeply holding on to our conditioning…about how a certain thing is to be done…our Prejudice about what makes a Good person…we hold onto dear life before we change even a fraction of it…If we let go…what would we have then??? Criticism…Ridicule…

But Life is all about changing…dolloping a little smile...making your small decisions to be different…and accept the consequences…and yet being ready for those in between emotions that surround and envelop all human beings…

Now why would I write all this in a Movie Review…?

Movies are my lifelines…it’s from there that my command over Hindi and Marathi comes…It’s from there I have seen and absorbed changes in Indian Cinema and scenarios…It reflects …makes me think and do inner sweeping time and again...I am blessed with a filmy family..I have lead a roller coaster life…

Found my Ka! We alternate roles of being a Ki at times and Ka at times to the other…My Ka unabashedly cries when I hurt him…and takes money from my purse when he runs out of it…he cooks when I am blogging and /or Tired....I am the Ka sometimes as I too shoulder the added responsibility of working to pay bills…so I have found my Happily ever after…and when the Movie and specially a Man called "Arjun Kapoor" with Dead pan expression tugs at my Happily Ever After, I write…

My world is pink Candy floss and mush strawberry dripping honey…

My heart believes in happy endings and working out issues…

My mind gives out and accepts nuances in human shade …all kinds of emotions are there…to experience and understand…

My soul believes in forgiving…after being the meanest and getting back stronger and wiser…

My being believes in teaching by real life examples on how to be…I have two growing sons and Some gals  are going to thank me or hate me for them…in future…

So ….Ki and Ka is a perfect Demo of a light hearted way of being…



already I have put in a Blog on #ArjunKapoor why to do or overdo it again…???

Because he just fills the screen …my heart…my mind with a fluff of all things nice and possible and romantic..in a fairy tale sort-a-way…
Did I mention I know nothing of film Technicalities...screenplay...editing...effects...go bonkers for me...For me what appeals is The Visual Panorama it offers...My eyes have to like what I see...For me If the Screen Persona make me feel and Think ...
I would go back to the Movie again and again...for all my years ,there is A Child who believes in Fairy Tales ...
Now if I were to look at the fairy tale with the eyes of a child…why ever would I question too much…I would accept everything it says...and much later…I would enjoy the fairy tale for it fills me up warm and dreamy feel...and wanting to hear it again and again…oops...see the movie again and again…For it points to a possibility…a realm that can bring happiness…that can break shackles of self-imposed role rules to be followed…I write, so I document my own echoes at having witnessed a beautiful thing…

For those two odd hours I devoured each refreshing scene…This movie is ARJUN KAPOOR…all the way…he runs the show…he steals the thunder…he REIGNS …
The very first scene he breaks the myth…Boys cry…all tears rolling down and sniffles…why??

Becoz you cry regardless of whether you are a boy or a girl…you sniffle…when you “Miss someone” and if that happens to be your Mom…well…you just do…
Its Sadist to admit that I enjoyed the Saawan Bhado on that Dead Pan wooden face all let loose unleashed tears…and the tear stained explanation of why he is in that state…no apologetic guilt there…sho shweeeeettt…now he could have cried a little more there…he looked so cuteeee and adorable…and equally flat repartee from Kia…Please get him his mom…simple natural…clear portrayal…

Men sniffle…women do not have to be their mumma the moment they see a nose running…Classs…Common sense…

Our Ka is Intelligent and sorted and has a philosophy of life…



Ka has a father who is a millionaire…Ka is a topper in MBA from a reputed institute...he does not carry it as his Medal up his sleeve to impress. He is definitely not a Loser to want to depend on a woman for financial support but he has plans of not climbing the corporate ladder…as he asks “What are we running after?” “Only to end up in a state of the art hospital and be grateful for affording it?”

Point…simple psychological tip to avoid Breakdowns…Kabeer is cool in an inimitable way that comes out of imbibing the philosophy to the core . He can accept with a straight face “I cannot pay for that double scotch you ordered!” No show off…noo games to impress the girl. Boys go to such lengths to woo women with a false sense of wealth…from Bassanio in Merchant of Venice to Mumbai college scenes…Boys try to look swanky and suave on borrowed money to show lands that never exist  to their lady love…Our Arjun ran the risk of sounding Bitter or "you owe me" but he simply puts forward a situation. Take it or leave it…You have to take it…he is so so enigmatic..unless Kia unravels him why shall she let him go???

KA is Resourceful Creative and SO WELL MANNERED…He questions…
Today’s young boys swear at the drop of the Hat to subdue…impress...intimidate…to make a point…or simply strut around as a fetch-able commodity…but Ka did not…wait  a minute…

Ka is a Man….!!!!

He does not have to...he has a strong logic and sorted theories to make you think!!!

He asks Kia “you do not want a man to not look down on your ambition and accept your Corporate rise…will you in the same vein accept my lack of ambition?” Gentle…concisely worded and delivered query…not only to Kia…but to the Audience as a whole??? Are we ready to shed our prejudices…long held notions of what a man or woman can do...we talk of women empowerment…gender equality...are we ready for empowering human beings and accept changes???

He asks his Mom in law “would you tell your future daughter in law that she is looking for becoming a home maker…as looking for free lunch?” So why not me???



He happily asks for money to run the house…negotiates with the maid and lays down the rule…creates a train to get food back and forth…signs of a creative Homemaker who looks for making the Abode best place to be…

He is Virile and Macho…yet tender and resourceful...

While doing all this…not Once …not even for a fraction of a second did Arjun…our Ka once over steps from one role…he is a homemaker…the feminine force..the nurturing one…but his mannerisms do not bend down to pansy if you know what I mean…he is every bit his rugged self…huggable…cute-able…teddy cuddly bear…


He is capable of beating the goons…and smile over the Dharmendra compliment…he is tender enough to remove her shoes when she comes tired….



And get ten Pregnancy testing kits when outta panic Kia throws a fit...instead of taking an offence at “you want to ruin my career…like a typical Hindi do…” He brings her solace …stands outside the washroom till it all subsides and lovingly gather her in the arms… "Its our Problem not yours...how did you think that?"

Not only he is a lovely homemaker but also resourceful when it comes to getting extra moolah to buy a house… without compromising his homemaker status…He is equally Comfortable in his Skin and gently asks Kia "Are you ashamed of me??" When She tells others "He is writing a Book!!"Kia brings in a Universal Conditioned attitude...We are so hard pressed to explain our way if life that its a "Shortcut" to simply Wave it off with an excuse...She proudly declares though ...Kia is quick to Accept her mistake and Make amends...
Not a decaying Persona...

He is Famous…
as he brings his different perspective to role viewing in our country not in a sermonizing way but as if it is the most natural way of being. He is so captivating with explaining his existence and choice he garners publicity and attention so much so that Jaya Bhaduri wants to Meet the Boy…

She sums it up...I stayed home for I had no choice in that choice…also she expresses she could not be standing by the balcony instead of Amitabh Bachchan…So often what society perpetrates is what we have voluntarily or involuntarily accepted as gender roles…



What a person will wear is decided by the long held societal norms…And later they become so staunchly embedded in our psyche that we accept them as A Given…Ka breaks another myth casually by creating a bracelet out of a Neck piece called Mangal Sutra...as long as he treasures it…but Arjun so deftly does it…you have to be fine tuned to catch that nuance…I did and I found it immensely endearing…
Ka has a Sense of Humour...
Is ghar ke Mardon ko Aurat ki Jarurat thi...simple thing pointed out cheekily...Womanly force looks for order...Manly force chooses to overlook it...Many such moments will stay with me as I watch again and again..

KI AND KA ARE BOTH HUMANS…

Who ever does the dish or swipes the credit card…they both cannot escape the juxtapose of relationship. Jealousy is an insidious serpent that silently finds it's way through your being and strike in the meanest way possible…

Kia comes late…Kabeer is cool…Kia spends more time in conference leaving him  alone...he is cool about it…quips in  humorously “Except my wife I'm honeymooning with everyone else!”

Yet that one moment when she stays up talking to an American and fails to introduce him…jealousy raises its mean accusatory head with …go sleep with him…thankfully, they passionately make up…



Kia is OK when Kabeer is romping with females on the beach...Kia is fine while Kabeer gives a diet plan and gymming lessons to more than a dozen women…but the moment Limelight shifts on Him with Praise and invites on Talks on his way of being given Spotlight…something shifts in Kia…she resorts to Sarcastic taunts on putting Down Kabeer as “Gaining Fame out of doing Nothing!” and hitting the panic button on seeing his absence during her Mom’s Crisis…



Typically Hindi movie calls for Tragic separations and lectures on trust…

R BALKI…TAKE A BOW…

Kia fortunately is intelligent enough to realize if Kabeer was not there so was she absent and that she has been the Mean one here…Earlier she had accepted ,Kabeer manages the home so she can fly

The enlightenment comes in with the realization that the conflict is on the one who earns getting attention and adulation…and reacting with the shifting of it…

Refreshing…

We are human beings first given to all our follies and foibles…our little envies…our bigger peeves…and yet at the end of it; finding out about them…accepting...forgiving...that is what our Ki and Ka do…they forgive each other…

An important lesson to all the Young ones who so simply run to sign the divorce applications…sometimes the issues are simply a tangle of personalities…realizing...accepting…tenderly forgiving…and growing forms the Fabric of every Happy Ending…

It's not the Gender that causes the rift…it's not the society that needs to change…Each one of us needs to hold the prejudice by the tongs of reason and sensitivity...understanding our quirks…making the effort to hang on just one more time…saying sorry just one more time…believing in a rainbow just one more time...putting aside the bygones just another time and growing...

Growing into beautiful examples of beings for their children to emulate and find their happily ever after...not leaving them bitter for future about love…for love does exist...we just need to believe in it...and hang in there…

Dearest Arjun…
the next decade belongs to you…keep choosing such bold roles that bring us to the cinema...make us think without sermonizing and long drawn lectures…I admire your gumption to be able to pick up that Mop or push the bill of the hotel to other side…you made us think that another kind of existence is possible and come out in the open and talk about it without batting those humor filled eyes...that are surmising the other’s Discomfort…that gooey smile that other is cringing but not showing…Your Mom would be truly proud of the Lovely Guy she has contributed to this Indian Cinema...A comfortable Man who thinks and makes one think...Think of her as a loving soul who is watching over you and sending Blessings and Love !

You make a Homemaker truly Glamorous and coveted role…You actually endorsed a profession for so many KAs..that soon we will have new Moms claiming…Mera Beta toh Arjun jesa Smart KA bunna Chahta he…I am almost feeling that GOOEY smile just about lop siding…Come back with a suitable Repartee young Chap…


P.S : I SO WISH I WAS INFLUENTIAL LIKE Jaya Bachchan that I can say I want to meet this Boy…Loads of love to a lovely KA…always surprise us…
             
                                                               -by Sonnal Pardiwala


© Sonnal Pardiwala. All Rights Reserved.


*The writer claims no rights over the images used in this post.

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

IF THOU MUST BE A JABRA FAN….!!!


As I avidly waited for Shah Rukh Khan’s latest teaser of #Fan…as Fandom had hit me just about. As the teaser and song unfolded the famous Sonnet by Elizabeth Barret Browning sailed in my being…
“If thou must love me, let it be for nought except for love’s sake only!” If every Fan were to read these lines and etch them in their hearts things would be rosy always for them and their object of love…for the Love Story of a Fan always almost is a sacred private affair between their Icon and themselves.

 It’s Akin to any and every Love Story that always walks in almost any one’s life except that in most cases it takes two to tango but here in the world called Fandom it is only one person super active and fertile with imaginations ripe…It is an interesting phenomenon that Shahrukh dares to broach…but in his inimitable style adds his own modern take and content!

My Heart romped as the looney toon cute Gaurav Channa broke into an ecstatic “Jabra Fan Ho Gaya!!” …I know the feeling of that Classic Connection and wanting to Celebrate!!! When he euphorically and naively states…he will give a jhappi to his Icon and give his Trophy to His GOD THE ARYAN KHANNA…




I stood with a lopsided smile and a sigh…hmmm…another one living in the “Delusion of Grandeur” of being the only one. Still my heart crushed and mashed at the flabbergasted, crestfallen realisation on his face when he is amongst the Mob outside his Icon’s Residence. It puts one in stage of Denial and aggression for not being recognised…for up until Now his imagination plinth had only him and the ICON and the other ones who laughed and mocked…they just had to be fended off…they did not share the admiration...in fact infused his loyalty even more in Defending…but Now he has to Leverage against a horde…claiming to be his “Jabra Fan” and another Important Force the ICON…who is idolised so far…when he says…

“You are not my fan!”…ohhhh…The earth could crumble and swallow open …the delicate, fragile veil lifts and splinters go far and wide…in most cases…Fan would get into disillusionment…feel hurt and withdraw from any further activity…if on media may go around spewing venomous comments and abuse…and then be lost in the crowd of ever changing kaleidoscope of myriad options this world is…Rarely goes One to the path of Vindicating…or Revenge…Rarely…and the movie focuses on the very Rare one…

How it unfolds is yet to be seen…how the Fan from a small town acquires almost Super human power to jump from rooftops…or become a threat enough to the Icon for him to merit a Press Conference…and warn about the impending Disasters…question is why would a Fan who will see no wrong in their Icon as to turn against and declare… “Gaurav he toh tum ho…varna nahin…”




I have been a Fan too…but I went forward to do something that will contribute to his (the star’s) well-being…why would I cross that line as to push the Icon to the line where the feeling is…YOU ARE NOT MY FAN…!!!

It is entirely our own responsibility to Adore and admire someone…why shift the mantle of acknowledging it and feel indebted??? Tricky Debate…Without a Fan …star is nothing…and in front of so many...now a FAN IS NOTHING…Most accept that…what happens when one does not…hopefully the film shall bring answers and entertainment for all its Fans…

Years back a movie by Hrishida also dealt with Jaya Bhaduri’s fandom for Dharmendra that overrode her sense of reality and benevolent icon had to step in to sort of wean her out…Things were simpler then for the Icons… They existed in newspapers and screens and a distant dreamland called Mumbai.

Reaching them was unheard of or not ever considered…all one could strive for was to write in a
letter…very rarely was one clicked with their Icons…they just had to make do with autographs…Today in the world of connectivity its Selfie time and every single one wants a Selfie with their Star… it is much more complicated…complex…layered with debate that can storm the nation for a while…

I grew up on stories with girls marrying with the photograph of Rajesh Khanna or Amitabh Bachchan…people writing letters to their icons with blood to convince them of their love…desperate measures I would say…

One wonders why would one individual resort to hurting self to please someone. What makes them think that this should put the Icon in debt to return their feelings??? And how would that Icon handle several blood soaked missives landing up at his doors???

This tangled tangy relationship ought to be analysed a little I would say…To be a Fan is a soft and dreamy feel…let us see the various stages that it might envelop you…

CONNECTION STAGE:





 A person sees their Icon…be it a cricketer…film star... singer…Dancer…and instantly feels connected. He or she likes what he sees and wants to repeatedly connect again for the heady feeling it gives. It grows steadily as maybe an aphrodisiac “feel good” high. Each time the icon appears before them, in front of them…most often their TV sets or Film screens it lights up their hearts…puts a twinkle in their hearts…buoys their spirits and soothes their nerves. It’s a cocoon that wraps around and creates an entirely different realm where none exist except them and their Icon.

WOOING STAGE:




This is the stage where viewing on Television increases. Now there is YouTube and other Avenues where repeat viewing is abundantly available. Make no mistake when we say wooing…it’s all one sided and ever expanding into every Zone of the individual. A fan now openly proclaims their affection for all and sundry. Pictures are collected from whichever corners possible.

Newspapers…magazines…in our times we had postcards of 50 paise each…we traded and bartered home works and lies over this…Today Fans have Twitter…Facebook…Instagram to follow and vie for latest pictures and day to day life events actually doled out to them in minutest precision. No place is safe for the Icons these days…and it is the Fan’s delight to get their pictures in every hue possible for increasing their ever expanding collection which they can flaunt to claim their “JABRA FANDOM”

EUPHORIC HAPPINESS:





A breezy happiness pervades the Fan for it has brought in a flavour of Love with it. Each one sings “Main Jabra FAN Ho Gaya!” and goes about life imitating as much as they can in!
Clothes…habits…actions from their popular phases…A perpetual smile plays on their faces and countenances all the time. They TALK mentally to them, share their frustrations…ups and downs...long drawn conversations in front of their Object of love. Any hurt seems to be absorbed by the ever smiling face of the collected pictures or huge posters around them if they are allowed in their houses.

The Fan kind of Co exists with them every moment as if it were right there with them. It is a world constructed which has room only for them and the smiling stylish…smart and everything wonderful object of love…it is there with them when they get up to when they sleep…Their conversations often veer to their Fandom and often they are teased for them…

So far so good…if we were to stay in the zone where it’s all about “YOU and ME” but Human NATURE loves to create its own expedition beyond horizons…in Arenas best left untouched…in spaces left unviolated…for where the Fandom loses its cosy corner and enters the Human Jungle of “Law of the fittest surviving!” …Caution is largely written on each milestone…lucky is the one who heeds it…vulnerable are the ones who will lose it…sometimes their sense of self…and court depression or obsession…that is our next stage…

POSSESSION AND NEED FOR ACKNOWLEDGEMENT:


Each FAN feels he or she is the biggest Fan alive of their Icon and no other can rival it. In today’s time there are ways, so they look for it…try to reach to their star and declare “I am your Jabra Fan” and want to be declared “Jabra Fan” by all. Sadly and contrary to their belief they are just a vast sea of humans claiming the same with their wares out in the open…




Some write poems…some make paintings…some make picture edits and collages…some make merchandise of their stars…some even down South in our country have temples dedicated with daily prayers offered…

Now in these Modern times and easy connectivity, temples of Stars are replaced by a new phenomenon called “FANCLUBS” made and maintained to offer the daily dose of Hero worship. The rituals used are Tweets…Facebook updates…Instagram edits and collages on important days of worship like movie release…award functions…show appearances...there are special “Trends” offered and created. Longer the trend more popular is the Star, more popular the “FANDOM”!

The fan clubs pride themselves in their power to show support to their chosen Icon and God forbid those who dare to speak even a word against the coveted God…public bashing and outright verbal abuse will rule the Media handle for a long long time…for at times the Fan Clubs come to identify the Star they subscribe to...it is a status of being a Semi God given to them…and if the Icon is available than there is a war footing preparations to get a like...reply or comment from them…

The reverence has reached worship levels…where whether or not it is solicited or accepted, it becomes the need to offer…offer tokens of love…offer words of praise…which often will go unheard…not because they have no ears but in the cacophony of Jabra fans it is a huge Din…and it is a dissolved whoofff which dies its own death…the myth that one is a Jabra Fan hits one harder and stares in their faces with biting and anguished heart break…and they refuse or  get on the denial stage where they have to get in person meet with their Icon and somehow change the reality…Zones best left untouched…for the FAN ought to know something…

This person you idolised is a Human…with flaws…imperfections…with pressures that cannot be shared…schedules that have to be met…tasks that have to be carried out…spaces that he or she cannot give you…so it broke my heart to see Gaurav…break down with “Esa mat bolo…kya mujhe aapke paanch minute bhi nahi mil sukte??”



Yet there was a poignant pause in my reasoning to say wait a minute…is he at fault here somehow?
Fans do so much for their stars!!!

True; without Fans a star’s popularity cannot be complete. They need them to come in the theatres or cricket grounds to invest in them…but,

Have they not worked the entire probably year off practicing for that film…practising for that Match…for that song…dance…that is what made you the fan now did it not??? You spend money to watch them…they spend efforts to create a happy package for you…why do they owe you more than that???

Fans love them so much they want to know everything about them…

When we create an account on the media we tend to keep our profile only for friends…when we celebrate festivals we invite only our near and dear ones…do we call the entire colony or the complex??? But when we gather around their house in a crowd are we not invading their privacy??? 



Do we want to not have a breath taking view of our balcony??? But do we not deprive the stars from doing just the very thing??? Do we have a right to create House arrest kind of situation for them???
You do not ever wish to divulge private details of your wife…son…daughter…husband…then why do we hound them for their numbers and pictures inside their house or in their private moments…want to know why they are divorcing the spouse or dating someone??? Would we give out those details or discuss those matters…with strangers…?

No one loves you more than me…I am your Jabra Fan…I do so much for you…

“Neither love me for thine own dear pity’s wiping my cheeks dry!” appeal to pity and tears is the worst manipulative device to hold a person captive and resentful. The person out of guilt shall not be able to hurt you openly and yet will hate you secretly for that power you exercise…

Give me your five minutes only….

When a child goes out to play we remind them…Do not ever take anything from a stranger…do not speak to people you do not know!!!
Yet we expect this individual to simply accept a person proclaiming to be a Fan and take whatever he offers you in adulation with complete trust and reverence…Did he ask for it??? Did she need it???

Was he or she there when you did it??? Whatever you did out of being the Jabra Fan is the need you had within yourself towards pleasing someone you knew nothing about personally…sometimes your friends too do not realise what you want and end up with gifts you do not like…but simply because this Icon is in the Public Arena…as a Celebrity…it is blindly expected they take whatever you offer…and even make provisions to declare that they are suitably pleased…

So if Aryan Khanna and Gaurav Chandna were to talk this, is how it could go:

Gaurav:  Main aapka Jabra fan hun

Aryan: Dhanyavaad aapne meri kala ko saraaha…usko samjha. Aage bhi aap mujhse ese hi pyaar karte rahe ummeed karta hun…

Gaurav: Maine aapke liye kuch kiya he jo duniyaa main koi nahi kar sukta!

Aryan: Aap mere liye itna kar rahe he, thank you firse!

Gaurav: Lekin aapko meri parvaah nahi…aapne mera phone nahi uthatya jab mene aapko film ki badhai deni chahi…subah ke saat baje sabse pehle uthke mene phone kiya tha!

Aryan: Meri shooting raat ko do chaar baje tak chal rahi thi bhaiii…

Gaurav: Kya mujhe aapke paanch minute bhi nahi mil sukte???

Aryan: Dost mere paanch minute mujhe khud nahi milte aapse kya bahas karu??? Main bhi chahta hun kabhi paanch minute aankhen mund kar kuch naa karu…pur ye paanch minute hi mere hisse nahi…aapko kaha se laake du???

Gaurav: Ye itne logo se toh aap milte ho roz mujhse kyun nahi???

Aryan: Inhe main jaanta hun…vo mujhe...mere paanch minute par unka huqq he jo mere he…aap mere liye ajnabi…kyun du main vo paanch second bhi???

Gaurav: Hum fans nahi toh aap kuch bhi nahi…kaun chillayega aapke liye..kaun twitter pe trend karega aapke liye…Hum hain toh tum ho…

Aryan: Dost uske liye main din raat ek karke apni adakaari pesh karta hun…jo muskaan ya aansu aap dekhte ho…jo sur aapko choo jaate hai…unke liye hum ghunto mehnat karte hain…sirf aapke liye…hum rote hain apke liye…hum hunste he aapke liye…aap jiisse pyar karte hain vo sunahre pardon par he…main nahi…is paar ki ye zindagi meri hain, aapki nahi…

YOU KNOW THE ONE WHO HAS WALKED THE PATH TO POSSESSION WILL SAY STILL…





Esa mut bolo…

…for each one of us decides what lines shall we cross…what lines shall we maintain…true Fans make a human God…but he does not become God…he is still a mere Human…

Fans would continue their inner Fairy land…the zone will remain glossy, pretty and untangled…
Love them…adore them…talk to them…compliment them, in your inner world and if you are connected on media handles…through your creativity…without the sense of competition or without the Grade card expectations from the Star himself or Herself…you will live happily Ever after…else you will turn the very icon who was your Raison d’etre…bitter and embarrassed…
Choice always was and is Ours…

“But love me for love’s sake, that evermore,
                                                     Thou may’st love on, through love’s eternity!”   
          

                                                                                          -By Sonnal Pardiwala

© Sonnal Pardiwala. All Rights Reserved.


*The writer claims no rights over the images used in this post.

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Being Arjun…

Way back in childhood, we were told this story. Guru Drona was teaching Pandava-Kaurava children archery. One day he asked his students to aim at the bird’s eye. Before they did he questioned what did they see? Each student failed the test as they saw the trees…branches…bird’s face…only Arjun was allowed to Aim when he said “I see only the Bird’s eye!”
Formula for success…Focus clearly on what you want. Go after it with single- minded- laser- point- pin- headed penetrating-precision…
Hail then our modern gen Arjun…He has been gently kinda growing on me!!! He is the sharpest aspirant in Bollywood and steadily getting towards his goal…the ultimate bird’s eye…the Numero Uno position…
He is steadfast…he is everywhere…he is witty…articulate…and he knows society is changing and so he needs to market himself exactly to suit today’s sensibility…
The audience no longer wants to see a Hero who is willing to waste himself behind a Paro…in a bottle of alcohol…Today the male is super practical...there always is another Paro with whom he need not perish instead go paragliding some place cool…
Today‘s hero is no longer the revenge driven unemployed system hurt embittered glorified poor…today the Male concerns are far different…he has had a cool educational background…an understanding wise doting or maybe a little orthodox parent but does not get in the way in any which way…Paying bills is not his concern now….paying court to his lady love in the most sophisticated way is…
Today the audience no longer loves to see an upright righteous police officer fighting a system for justice…In today’s male they simply brush shoulders with law if they have broken a traffic signal or have no PUC…beyond that their world is pretty much laid out in neat patterns…what is muddled is the relationship equation…guess somebody told that to our Arjun today…
Cinema is fast moving to real life circumstances with the day to day challenges making interesting topic and fodder for cinema.
Today the lady is not unrealistic in wishing her Man to be a Greek chiselled God …they look cool in Sculptures …and stories of yonder age. Today she is more interested in knowing how he will deal with her when she has an off day…how will he wipe tears…he does not have to slay villains or uncouth dragons…he has to allay her fears and insecurities…who will understand her need for independence and cover her need for interdependence.
Hail our Modern Arjun then…look at him in Ki and Ka ka trailer…and he puts forth a perfect recipe of a Friend and a companion that a Lady needs today…
No wonder the Trailer has shaken few long held stereo types…of what a man does and what a female does…essentially we are individuals who have our challenges that goes beyond the physical attributes and organs…and requires an open thought and flexible approach to living today…so what do we like about Arjun…

HIS WRY SENSE OF HUMOUR



He is willing to self- deprecate. He has no upright or uptight image to hold on to like stars of the past…he is what his film demands and he will gladly crack a joke or two on himself. “Mujhe bawarchi bana diya.” quips our Uber cool male in a press conference. He makes no bones on screen or off screen about this avatar. He can laugh and be laughed at.
He himself is cracking and admitting to his weaknesses laced in wry sense of humour…like he confesses in Khatron ke Khiladi’s first episode…I am also nervous…clear and transparent...communicating with a joke or two. There is always a drawl in his voice and mischief lurking in his eyes…even if there is anger or annoyance it is cleverly masked with tons of icing of intelligent snipes and barbs...it is visible on his sharp Twitter remarks too!
HIS DEDICATED ADAPTIVE MODE



Whatever his role demands…he will get in the skin of it. We used to generally hear from Naseer Sir or OMPURI actually going and staying in an area where they could feel the character…So does Arjun learn to cut vegetables with a mastery of a connoisseur  and learn the mannerisms to get into the authenticity of it all? Make no mistake Sir…Today’s Arjuna is clued into his work and will go nonchalantly after it.
The trailer shows Aficionado types playing with pots and pans and broomsticks…as if he does it every day…we are so focused on the bird’s eye…now are we not???

HE HAS A MIND AND INTELLIGENT WORLD VIEW



He can essay the role of a house husband with efficiency because he is again a well-bred and well-read person. He has understood this character and so he brings forth the burning questions with ease…I do not wish to do a sex change…he declares…simply because I like cooking and cleaning. “I LIKE Women and whiskey…just am not ambitious…corporate wise…!!!
It was and is a challenging concept in a country like India which changes in emotional matters at a snail’s pace. He has understood his character enough to answer at a press conference a profound query “Do you think Women empowerment exists only on Internet hashtags and articles and cinema?” He promptly and sombrely offers…change is happening…the number of female journalist is increasing…women are choosing to live a life of their choice…slowly and surely…he exhorts the society to shed the myopic view and look beyond...very very sensitive and very very intelligent…He has understood his role alright and the ins and outs of it all…

HE IS KISSABLE…



So much ado about the amount of kisses shared…but It is so comfortable when he does it…you do not want to look away…or feel anything untoward…he smooches with an understanding of I know who I am and who you are…its most of the time camaraderie being expressed…its natural…and he carries it so neatly…
I so wish these kinda films came when I was young…it would redefine kiss as a token of affection and not always a prelude to passion. It’s Arjun who makes it sound so non-threatening and cute!!! Forgive me but I love the casual smooch...cooch and welcome or bye bye…the Kiss actually smiles…you do not believe me…?
Okkk see the trailer again…try it in your practical life…you may find out you have either over done it…or underdone it…Arjun does it just right!!! So sweetly all embracing natural thing to do…God I cannot ask him to marry me…so I will simply ask my Hubby dear to well….observe…

HE FLIRTS…



It is his oxygen. He cannot survive without it. He flirts around everywhere. He may not leave the bhaajiwali at the turn of the street he may meet. He flirts with Paro…Sana..on the sets of Khatron Ke Khiladi and all know he is not to be taken seriously.
But that kind of light sense of humour and everything is fun and light makes all kind of work so interesting…Fun it would be to work with someone who will keep you flattered and make you feel good. That is then the reason of sparkle on KAREENA’S face. She has the glow of “Jab We Met” on her face which was missing for a long while in many films…IS Arjun’s easy go flirt always attitude?? Of course SAIF Ali khan cannot be left out…he has made her a happy woman…and we will be a happy audience.

HE IS SO...UMMM…UNKEMPT…



Now you will ask me…why should you like unkempt??? The image of a suit and boot well combed man is so ewww...so worn out…and when men are at home…well that is one thing they would like to forget…combing hair…shaving….dressing to perfection.
Our Arjun represents this casual man…and still manages to look decently adorable because you are busy observing the criss cross wrinkles of humour rippling all around…so whether Khatron Ke Khiladi or Ki and Ka …he has the stubble and hair care ignored look…and lovable…
NOT A DIDACTIC PREACHER…



For all the new concepts that he is doling out, he is pretty cool about his persona. Besides the gentle appeal of be equal, he does not sermonise. He leaves it to the audience with a simple “It is a choice two individuals have made…why should anyone raise issues to what each one does in their the relationship equation?” No outward rebellion but a simple acceptance of what he or she is…that is how a society is supposed to be…let all be.
 The multi changing fast paced world is no longer about reforming the world with heavy messages or vitriolic remarks on the system or stagnant ways…only A CHOICE…MADE…
A MISANDRIST would find it so utterly hard to hate him…no one can accuse him of hinting at a bend to MISOGYNY either!!!

FIRST HE WEARS A MANGALSUTRA



 NOW HIGH HEELSSSSS…OH MY!


Goddddd…OMGGGGG…BREAK THAT STEREOTYPE TOO…and I am sure he will break few hearts and the splinters will fly Far…Each change reflects in the Cinema and who better than Arjun…A new individual surfaces …if you do not like him in heels ...well you grew up thinking a certain gender adorns it…he does not think so…Different is the new “in” and fitting in is the new “ out” .
You accept it…scoff at it…reject it…troll it…love it…he has done it…without a hint of earlier remarks at a certain gender preferring the other adornments hitherto a domain of another as…well…less than adorable…less than reputed…less worthy of attention. He stands fully as an individual…whole and healthy and happy…whether he has a broom…a knife…a mangalsutra...a red heel…asking for money to run the house…touching the feet of mom in law…to giving a whack to goons if needed…Dharmendra ishtyyyyllleeee….
So are these reasons enough to peg Arjuna competent to be allowed to play the Game of Archery??? Fans Applause being his Bird’s eye…I think Yessssssss!!

                                                                                                           By Sonnal Pardiwala

The writer claims no rights over the images used in this post.