Reality or Imagination???

                     A Story that had to be told…

“My Grandma passed away peacefully…

Thank you Madam for being so kind. You will never know how grateful I am to you…” The message that flashed on her mobile was long and with each word goose-bumps rose on her hands, skin and her eyes brimmed with tears…one even trickled down and she blinked only when her lenses began to swim. She closed her eyes for a moment and sniffed. She looked around and found her husband immersed in watching the movie on the television. Her sons were playing on the Tab, a very engaging game and so not likely to look up to observe Mother dear and her near wet eyes. 

     They just assumed that “Mommy dear” was busy with her internet friends after a long time. She composed herself and read the message again. A long, painful and yet, a somehow happily content message. She began scrolling the other messages…spawning over three months…sometimes in a row…sometimes with a gap of a week or half!!! She had done what she had done without much thought to it but today when she read it again...it all sunk in as to what could have transpired….in that small hamlet …so far back in Gujarat or Rajasthan or border of Both the States!!!

       Being an Author of a Book had opened a different world for her and had send her way characters of different sorts. 

Her Book was on a Tele Star and his Fans were…just Fans…some in awe of her…for no one in the industry had ever come up with this sort. Some Jealous of her because she had actually been fortunate to meet the Telestar…some very Nasty…and downright cursed her, gossiped and openly abused her. 

         She had taken it all in her stride and Moved on with dignity embracing those who did adore the Book and love…but what she had been reading and what she read today broke all barriers of Fandom…at least from the ones who came across her way so far…She pieced the messages together and began with the first message few months back.

…

“Mrs. Pardiwala, I had purchased your book but the order is sent back…I need the book desperately …please can you help me??”

She had read that message and replied, “How can I help you?” However, she had received no reply. The message seemed to be authentic enough because the next day she did get the message from the online portal with which they had tied up. She had been a little furious with the online portal and had asked her husband to promptly look into the matter. The reason uncovered was that the village was so remote that it was not listed with them. Her husband had curtly reprimanded the person on the helpline who answered their query but shrugged away the whole thing. Sometimes it happens…

...

“Sony, I may not live longer you know?” granny had smiled at her young granddaughter in whose lap she was lying and her head being pressed gently.

“Shhh…Dadisaaaa…I never want you to go...” Sony trembled and stopped pressing and kissed her.

“I am old and definitely above 85 you know..?? Daadisa gave a toothless grin. “ I came to live in Parbhani with your grandfather and my half dozen Paltan…I know we never thought of family planning those days…First ten years of my marriage I remember being pregnant only...”

“Daadi…you have told me this history thousands of time and that you loved your Daadu so much that you now think he is calling you…and so you need to go…too many films you have grown up on…my filmy Daadisa…I will tell Daadusa..wait a little more…I need her more…”

“He was a very patient man. He would have loved you and pampered you so much if he was alive. He could not fulfil all my wishes but whenever he could, he did…especially he showed me all Dilip Kumar films…what days those were…whenever we dressed up, it felt like a festival…we did not have TV ..” she coughed heavily.

“Daadisa!!! Do not talk so much ...here, have the water…and be quiet…I know everything you will tell…you liked Dilip Kumar…Manoj Kumar…and you are proud of your Rajput Legacy…that your ancestors worked at the Chittorgarh fort for the Royal Family…your great grandmother served the queens…ohhh Daadima my entire childhood has gone …I can recite it like a parrot..”

Sighing deeply, Daadisa still continued, “Yes and the world of films and now serials on TV give me Solace…everything that I could not get in real life, I got in the world of films. Your daadu knew and so he never denied me at least that but after his death…”

“Hmm…my Daadisa found her daadu in Partaap…what you say…Mharo…partaap…yes Daadisaaaa…I wonder what would Daadu say if she knew you stare and stare and stare at Partaappp…” a shy smile spread on her wrinkled face and her eyes lit up with so much love. Only the Mention of Partap these days Granny’s sad musings would evaporate replacing a resplendent glow that made her realise her grandma would have been a beauty in her young Days.

Ever since she had seen the Tele Character of young Partap in the teleserial her eyes had been Aglow with A rare kind of dreamy look. True the actor who was playing the role of young Maharana partap was well…really good. Grandma had taken to the Tele show and would refuse to sleep early just so she could catch the show. Those days when there was no electricity..she was morose…and the day the character ended in the tele show for a leap…Days on end she had not eaten properly. The family thought it was her flailing health but only her grand daughter knew what the real matter was…

She had found a glimpse of her husband in Him and for those few minutes she drank in the image of him and did not miss him… Sad the show had taken a leap and Grandma wrinkled her nose at the new replacement…

"Mharo Partap…yes…why did the show guys have to change him…otherwise in other shows the pregnancy lasts for one and a half year and marriages go on for months…"

Her eyes drooped and she fell into a silent drowsy sleep. Sony knew it was the result of the medicine she had given few minutes ago and now she will not rouse for another two hours…

Sony smiled and smoothed the Blanket on her grandma and left the room.

She had to copy her notes from her friend Vinita who had just returned from her city visit. Truth was she wanted to meet her as she was the only friend from childhood apart from her Grandma. Their family was close to each other and spend their joys and sadness together. Now children shared internet together and all her computer knowhow came from her. She liked to learn more and more...

She found her friend Vinita sprawled on her chaarpoi with her Mobile which she called a smart phone and some of the things it could do filled her with wonder.

“What new thing have you found out now to dazzle me?” she plonked besides her.

Vinita looked little dazed and involved and little removed from her. She got that look often when she was on the cell. She would explain she was chatting with someone. Sony closed her eyes and waited for her friend to return back from her net world.

“How is daadisa now??”

“She wants to die…and she is waiting to take my leave…!!”

“Oh Our filmy Daadisaa…and is she still missing her partap??”

Sony just sighed. It was a mistake to share with Vinita but she had sworn she will not tell anyone and kept the promise so far.

“Hey I actually wanted to tell you something…somebody has written a book on your Daadisa’s Partap…it is a Hit…people are buying it and putting up pictures with it…take a look”

“A whatttttt…..what are you saying??? City people do anything haa…!!!” She took the cell from her friend's hand and saw a young girl holding the book. “She is so young to write a book…she is not even in  her twenties...! “ She said somewhat incredulously….

“Stupid…she has bought the book not written it…you are so slowww…read the text…she is claiming she has purchased it and thanking the author for writing it!”

“Ohhh!! Okkkk!!! “ she read closely and the person was indeed thrilled and described the book highly…one page was visible in the pictures and the handsome Partap smiled back….

“Who is the Author??? What is in the book? Some Silly person out to earn money and publicity no doubt…” she scoffed.

“Whatever, but readers are quite taken to it by the updates and reviews I have seen so far…your Daadisa’s love kinda made me dig in a little more…The author is some Mrs. Pardiwala and is 41…its quite a story why and how she wrote the book!

“Why would anyone write a Book now?

“ It's about his character in that show you and your Daadi used to watch and there are lots of pictures she has put from the show. Lots and lots of it…I found some video links but could not open them in the slow net…”

“Someone had the time!!! Really people do anything these days…”

“Sonnyyyyyy….come down immediately…utensils are drying up in muck...when will you clean them???” Her Kaaki’s shrill voice startled both the friends and they both shared a knowing smile…rolled their eyes and she moved downstairs…she was half way through and another voice pulled up the whole houseee….randheeee…sonyyyy…viniiiii…kaakisaaa…look grandma…what happened to her…baapuuu…everyone from every corner of the house hurried to Grandmaa’s small corner where her charpoi lay…she was breathing fast and her eyes rolled and face contorted…

"She is getting the spasm again…doctor said...we will have to shift her to New Hospital in the City." Baapu was mumbling as others joined him and helped him pick her up and get her out. As if on cue there was an auto waiting of Ramlal kaka who had just come in for his lunch break at home…he took one look at the situation and got his auto there. 

In the little hamlet all helped everyone in need. No one needed invitations to come and help.

Sony had no place in the auto and was instructed to collect needful things and follow on the bullock cart to the city. It was an hour and half before the bullock cart reached the new Hospital. It was that part of the city that was developing and had all the facilities of modernity. Sony had no time to admire her surroundings…her little heart beating frantically. She was praying all the while. 

She cannot lose her grandma …not now…not yet…she had no one else…there were others…kaakisa…baapu...but after her mother’s death…it was daadisaa who had been her source of love…who knew her little nicks and corner..filled her lonely heart with tender hugs…affectionate words…shared her conspiracies…innocent ones…helped her steal pickles and bhakris for her cycling escapades…she had yet to tell her stories about Boy friends and how to be a good daughter in law…if Granny goes away…who will??? No …God cannot be so Unkind…she begged…prayed…bargained…and trembled while the doctors checked her…

They were not so well to do …they could not afford to pay the higher fees of the treatment there…all she could gather is doctors were asking her to be taken to Mumbai …her father nodding his head in despair…Sony dared not open her mouth in front of her Baapu…she rarely spoke to him…for he was not home most of the times…besides, he had become recluse after he lost his wife…he had entrusted his girl’s growth and caretaking to his mother…and had mourned…

Sony looked at the frail frame of her Daadisa...she opened her eyes and whispered something…her Kaakisa offered her a glass of water but she declined wordlessly all the time, looking at Sony… “Oh Sony Thank God you have come…please handle your Daadisa...I will go to the next lane and arrange tea for all of us…my relatives stay there…” She left leaving the duo alone…

“Oh Daadisa…are you ok?” Sony broke down with tears streaming down her cheeks…

Daadisa gave a cheeky smile and she was looking above her head…smiling impishly…knowing it well that she was finding something hilarious around she asked…"Daadiiii…I thought you were dying and I gave so much to God for you…and you are…what is it..??"

Daadisa’s twinkle would not go away and she asked Sony to turn around and look…her Face suffused with colour suddenly…Sony followed the directions…and was Aghast...THERE IT WAS…HANGING IN FULL GLORY…PICTURE OF PARTAPPP…with the Hospital staff…most likely the opening ceremony of the Hospital.

He was dressed in full glory of his tele show and stood there smiling…giving her grandma a reason to smile…

“Sony can I not see the show again?”

Only Daadisa could think and feel like that. She very well knew how smitten she was with that character…but how could she fulfil this wish?

The show was over...there was nothing she could do. She smiled affectionately and nodded her negation…all the colour left her face and every single line drooped. Her eyes were vacant and looked into the space above…adding even this loss to all the other losses she endured a lifetime. 

So often they had to give up one or other thing because they could not afford…they could not…they could not…they could not…Sony wrung her hand in despair at the melancholic frame of her grandmother…frail and lifetime of...not having what you wanted…lifetime of letting go…compromising…doing without…

Her grandma fell into a sleep due to the effects of the medicine…but her face had no zest...it was as lifeless as could be…she was breathing…going through life…but having no wish to live…no motivation to die either…a life of lack surrounded her...death beckoned and yet her granddaughter tugged her back…

Sony cried silently and her face was tear stained when Vinita arrived…consoling her again with a hand on her back. In the evening when Kaakisa came she sent the two girls for a walk.

“Vini , Daadisa wants to see her partap…her one small wish I cannot fulfil…you said the show is on YouTube...can we not arrange for her to see it??”

“Sony…YouTube needs heavy net if you know what I mean…neither my phone nor anyone else’s here has it. Our village has so irregular electricity…where shall we get net from? We do not even have WiFi…they say it makes the net run faster...”

“Why did we have to be born here? Oh why are we not in a big city? My Baapu does not have money to treat Daadisa and take her to Mumbai…my Daadi will go with even this wish unfulfilled…she knows her son cannot afford her life…he will have to choose to let her go..”

The friends sat silently in their Agony. Vinita’s face suddenly brightened.. .

“Hey Sony…remember that book??? If we can buy that book…you know…it has lot of pictures of Partap and about that teleshow…I have seen people praise a lot …and it is available on GobbleKart now...you order it…it comes home then you pay..”

Sony too felt a thrill run into her spine. Yes…we can do that…I am sure from my savings I can buy the book...I have around 600 or 700 rupees…Can you help me?”

“Come with me Sony to my friends Place…she is in my college. Her house has WiFi...we can definitely request her to check the book”

That evening they hurried to the friend’s flat…Vinita had briefed her on phone what help was needed. On her Laptop they opened the site...and sat frozen for a full one minute…the book’s Price was rupees 2700…the digits on the screen blurred in front of her eyes…she sucked in her breath…she had never seen so much money in one go…A Book…so expensive??? Was it made of gold??? In one million years she would not be able to buy that Book…!!!

The  sea of despair seem to get darker and her violent sobs choked her…and screamed out in loud sobs…even though she was in someone else’s house. Vinita hugged her. She suddenly was feeling sorry for adding to her friend’s woes. They thanked her and took leave. Walking back slowly Sony realised what it meant to lack money…what it meant to keep giving up always what you wanted…she could feel her Grandma’s entire life filled with such sighs…and even her last moments not having any respite….she just saw and felt lack…

Back in the hospital she saw a worried Baapu sitting despondent. They had asked for few tests…so grandma will be here for atleast a couple of days…Grandma intermittently kept waking…her eyes squinting and drinking in the fading image of Her Partap…did it take her to her young days with her husband? Did she go back to the glorious past that once was? 

All Sony knew that each time she flickered open her eyes…she looked at the frame and gave the briefest inclination of Joy…and closed her eyes again…she was deciding…to die…or to wait little more…Sony selfishly wanted to let her stay…to whisper jokes…to tease her…who else would do it otherwise…her world would be so bleak…

The next morning she saw her Grandma’s eyes still…tears gathered at the corner and she was vacantly staring above her head…at first Sony’s heart lurched…was she no more…no no but she was crying silently…she was Alive…just staring…she never cried when she looked at Partap…why??? Sony turned around to investigate…and got a jump…where was the frame?? She quickly ran and asked the Nurse…she was informed that it fell and they had sent for another frame and the picture was spoiled .

There went another hurtful moment for Grandma…one thing that got her to smile…gone…just like that…she made a decision…

She went to her friend’s house and asked her "I have to pay the money now???"

"No only when they deliver!"

"And how many days will it take?"

"Maximum one week…to your village..in city it is faster..."

"Can you please place the order for me?"

"I will have to use my name…but you did not have the money…how will you buy?"

"I have some savings..I will manage."

"Ok then…I will be getting a notification...I will let Vinita know about the progress . We can track where the book is!" She said warmly.

Sony solemnly sat by her side while she placed the order. She was calculating something silently. She had some money and she had the gold earrings her Grandma had made for her out of her savings. They were tiny but surely they would fetch her 2000 atleast. 

Her Daadisa had given her for her wedding but she thought it was more important for her to weigh her happiness at the tether end of her life. Give her at least some semblance of victory before she bids her farewell to this life. She wanted the toothless grin of her Grandma back...and she would do anything…marriage was a far fetched possibility…and well her husband will never know a small earring went missing in the trousseau…

That evening her grandma’s condition stabilised and she was brought home with long list of instructions.

She went to the only jeweller the village had and cried…for half an hour! Jashnukaka was a kind man. He heard her out and though it was a far fetched story for him to sell a piece of jewellery…he agreed. He agreed for he knew Daadisa’s love for movies…he had often been helped by Daadisa when they fell ill…any function or occasion and Daadisa was always there with  her wise self to help. 

He offered exactly 1900 rupees and it still fell short…but she took it. She was determined to even beg from someone...if she had to...she insisted he give her 2000…he knew she was being foolish but she trusted him also to keep her secret. He indeed would as he had a brand new pair of gold earrings...for a little lesser price…besides if anyone got wind that he had taken the earring from a  young girl…he would be shamed…so it served him to be silent...

A week passed by with no word from her friend or book. She had told the book would come…Vinita had agreed to lend her the remaining 100…

Her Grandma spoke very little…ate very little and slid into a silence...all in the family simply waited in quavering patience for her to depart…Sony was getting Impatient..she decided to go with Vinita to the city and find out…

“Your order was cancelled as your address is not listed with them”

Sony felt like screaming…fainting…pallor rose on her face so fast…

“Why don’t you talk to the author herself? SHE is friendly you know…I have heard she replies every single query of the book…you too try na…!” The friend supplied sympathetically

"Why would an author talk to me?" She is a greedy woman who just wants to earn money And nothing Else…” Sony sobbed…

"I have observed her and she seems kind…she speaks to everyone regarding the book…No harm in trying…what have you to lose?" The friend offered. "I have been observing her from almost a month and she seems educated and her own story of why she began writing is very moving. Besides so many people are befriending her and talking about the book…she answers every single one of them…"

Sony had no hopes when she typed those words…I need the book desperately ma’am…she typed and waited…

Since she was there from early morning they suggested she take a nap…

“Sony, come fast…the author has replied…how can I help? come!”

Sony could barely believe it…she ran to the laptop…and began typing her side...how her grandma is dying and how the book might help…how the online portal will not send the book…

“OK This is the link…if you are serious about the book and you are telling the truth...I will make the price 2000 for you but you will have to make an online payment and I promise you We will send the book wherever you ask us But you have only 24 hours the link will revert to its original self1”

Sony sat baffled for a while…online payment??? How???

I will ask my Father to help…he knows about your situation. Sony was always carrying the money with her…The author’s offer was unbelievable…besides she was actually willing to help…It was just Magical…some Angels were suddenly favouring her...Her Dad agreed to do the online payment in return of cash immediately. He received a mail telling him that the book will be delivered.

And it was…the prettiest book she ever Saw…Sony could not believe her eyes when she turned the pages of the book…every picture brought alive the scenes…Grandma’s favourite dialogues…favourite scenes…vividly described with Alive pictures...Oh it was a treasure!!!

How much had she cursed the Author as a greedy woman…selfish one...she felt so mortified...the book had reached her in five days flat…it was an afternoon and all were about napping around…she took the book to her Grandma…

“Dadisaa…I brought you your Partap…take a look…”

At the mention of Partaap…she squinted open her eyes…Sony was holding the picture of Partap in her hands…the bright radiant glowing warrior…Grandma’s face lit up…incredulous as the pages moved…she requested to get up…Sony fluffed up few pillows for her weak frame to sit upright…Grandma took it into her hands and turned pages…tears of gratitude…of relief…as if some dear valuable jewel had been handed…as a much coveted treasure…

"Mharo Partap…" she chortled with suppressed glee…she looked up once at Sony and then dug into the book…savouring the images as close proximity as much as her vision would allow…she hugged the book…opened it again…and one by one…took a steady glance at the page…Partap…hugging his mom…You used to hug me like that…Partap held her princess hand…you know when your Daadu got jealous...he nearly dragged me…you see he is crying for the princess is in pain…when I was delivering babies…he cried…just the same…

Each page had a memory…a happy memory of time begone…each alive picture brought glow on Daadisa’s face…each incident brought a chuckle to Daadisa’s whisper…you know he is proposing her…Daadu never proposed me…in our times we never met before marriage…so…once I had asked…pretend that you are asking me to marry you…he had proposed me then…wearing our wedding suit…he looked just…like this…Mharo partap…”

“I used to harass him just like this princess but your daadusa was so patient with all my nakhras..he used to call me nakhrali…Mharo partap is also so tender…so gentle…”

Grandma’s appetite increased with each passing day...although she was weak…she had a reason to get up...Sony read parts from the book for her in the afternoons and in the night. When there were visitors she would hide the book under the pillows. It was their little secret…For others came in her room for necessary visits…cleaning...offering food…mostly everything was given in the care of Sony…for all knew how much they bonded and also, no one else had the time…

“Sony the person who wrote this book..is very old..like me…or young like you?” One day she asked.

“She is 41..she has two sons…she lives in Mumbai.”

“She has taken so much pains and you know she solved our problem of electricity…it is there or not…the book always is…I can hug it and feel your Daadusa…mmharo partap…”

She opened the book…co-incidently it opened to The Wedding Chapter of the book...she sighed. “Ours was a simple wedding…no over the top stuff...is he not looking handsome?” She asked shyly…

Yes Daadi he is…you know he is just 18? Sony supplied for she had been given some information about him from her friend and also when she got to send a message to the author…she always replied and asked about her Grandma…

"Can we meet him??" Asked daadi one day after they read the chapter on his war.

"Daadi he lives so far…"

"Hmm…can I speak to the author..you say she is so friendly..??"

"Daadiiii…" Sony chided gently...her Daadi was getting too adventurous

Daadi replied back with a grin…her toothless grin which had become her world… "You know the author writes so  much about love and a woman’s power to bail her husband out…I thought, who will tell you about all this when you come of age? Now I ask you to read her version of love...sacrifice…obedience...and think…that your grandma is speaking to you…you are so young…"

Daadi you are going nowhere…Sony hated this talk…

Listen my Ladoorani…I have to go...your Daadusa seems to be calling me. 

He has been patient…very patient...I kept telling him no…for I had to train you to love…to teach you to be brave and loyal…never give up…Daadi’s voice had a soft and serene quality which was new for Sony…

Daadi it is late..sleep now…

No open the chapter where he first time tells her he loves her…by now 

Sony knew..what she was talking…she did…"Read for me…will you?" She complied…even she had come to love that version of love…

"Sony when you love you must find this same kind of love…with whom you can spend life…now read the part where she brings back Mharo Partap from death…Sony knew…she read…A woman’s love is strong and capable...you are like that…you sold the earrings I gave you...now, did you not??"

Sony's startled look gave her away…she turned crimson red.. "No child you have learned the equally valuable ideal of putting loved ones happiness first…" I am peaceful today…

Open the Marriage Chapter…She moved her hand on the handsome bridegroom…I wish and pray to God that someday a very Handsome and young man who can give you all the happiness comes to take you on the horse…just like Mharo Partap”

Daadi indicated Sony to come by her pillow side…she slept in her lap…hugged the book…"Sony…Tell the author thank you for this valuable treasure…that fulfilled my last days…it filled my imagination with colours...my soul with peace…my days with love…my Sony transformed into a mature woman from a girl in front of me. Her book...keep with you as my blessings…each time you need a lesson in love…loyalty…friendship…read the lessons we read together…know this…I am with you …I will never go far…always will be around...”

Sony too was filled with peace..her eyes streamed uncontrollably but Grandma’s voice had an incredible soothing power…they three were one…Daadi…Sony…the book…bonded …each one binded and yet willing to let the other go in peace…for they knew...they are all capable now to handle the realm they will move into…Daadisa with her Daadusa…Sony...ready to face the world without the physical form of daadi…the book with its immortal lessons on love and loyalty…

Daadi hugged the book...used it as her pillow in Sony’s lap…closed her eyes…for one last time…the peace on her face was something Sony would always keep…she cried for the form that left and sighed for all that filled her existence…she took the book gently…and repeated…Mharo Partap...

…

"I am grateful to you madam for all that your book brought…it helped my grandmother and me to make peace …she typed for the last time to the woman who had arranged for the book…written with a soul and brought so much worth to her life…"

Mrs. Pardiwala picked up her own Creation and wondered…Can a book contribute so much to someone’s life? Can a book have its own purpose in being ordained to fulfil lives..???

Can this be told...or is the sanctity in secrecy??? She decided to leave it up to her readers…for you never know…when your words will become healing balms for which wounds…some will scoff...some will marvel…some will be inspired…some will simply read…to all the readers…when I wrote the book…I never Knew...some old soul will...echo…Mharo Partap!!!

To quote her...Electricity is there or not…The book always is…

                                                           -By Sonnal Pardiwala

© Sonnal Pardiwala. All Rights Reserved.