“She is so dark!!!
There will be trouble finding someone who will take her?”
“You should not go for
your higher education. It will be tough finding a groom that educated for you?”
“Look at your
chapattis…you do not know to make them well…what will you feed your husband?”
“Bread!!!” was my
belligerent reply to this well-crafted putdown to my resistance to display my
culinary skills or refine them. After all, that is what women do!
I lived in twin worlds. One that portrayed a demanding man
who will want fair skin in a woman to find her adorable…one for whom I must
terminate my education so that his ego remains intact…one who should be served
perfect and warm rotis for a meal as
and when he demands…these were the traits I was supposed to inculcate to keep
the Mr. Right once he decides “to take me…”
Whoa!!! I was supposed to be the warm roti…perfect, white and
just soft enough to not be abrasive.
Another world held my romantic dreams…a man from Rudyard
Kipling’s ‘If…’ who would look
beyond my skin colour or not even notice it! Someone who would eat ‘bread’ when
I do not churn out those chapattis…heehee…too much to ask I thought as I grew
up in this misogynist male worshipping world with my sharp, clanging,
rebellious to the moon attitude.
Always in my dad’s tee which I wore to the college, I spewed
sharp opinions to all and sundry- daring a Mr. Right to find me alluring if he
may!!! Fully knowing that none in his right mind would want to ‘tame this shrew’…and to my super
surprise God had made one just Right for me…
We were 17…and met at the college Bus stop where we all hung
out during breaks. Back in 1990 we had only parking lots of bikes where we
college folks sat around for hours or the college canteen for the upper middle
class who would get in to grab a bite.
We glanced at each other and on hindsight it does appear like
we recognised each other…a yonder bond, carved and sealed aeons ago. The souls
recognised at some levels but yet we needed to acquaint ourselves with the avatars
we had donned this lifetime.
Chalk and cheese...Me a loud mouthed vociferous gal…he, a
whiff of comforting whisper. I threw my weight around…he was comfortable to be
around. I was Dare me and I will show you…and he, Care for me and I will soothe
you. I was noise, he was poise!
We began travelling together to college together and before I
knew, I began to get up early just to be with him. Our running statement was “If you do not come by the 6:10 train I will
go in the 6:18 train!”
Was that a Date? It felt so…we were together in the gents’
compartment looking into each other’s eyes oblivious of all those brow raising
folks and scandalised eyes. It was a lovely world where only we existed. The
twenty minute travel was our first tryst with dating. We were too young to ask
each other out anywhere to spend time and too broke to ever consider that. No
pocket money was the rule in my house and he got maybe a 50 or 100.
The bus stop and the train and the double decker bus routes
were our spaces to get to know each other.
“If a friendship lasted
three days, three months and three years, it would last forever!”, quipped
I magnanimously one day to him in a train journey. I had this habit of passing
expansive statements!
One chilly December morning he rang the bell of my house with
a card…I WAS completely nonplussed at his presence at 5:45 a.m.! He handed over
the Card “Our friendship completed three
days and today three months, and I am hoping that it lasts for three years and
forever…”
If I had a physical heart to give out I would have handed it
over to him right there. In that moment we were in the date bubble half opened
door…a girl who lost her heart…a young prince charming smiling with stars in
his eyes and promising and demanding- not a fair skin but a fair friendship.
Can any amount of money or five star Hotels Gourmet or Candles even stand in
front of that?
We were more than friends and yet not there…travelling
together with
friends in train and bus but always immersed in each other…
“Hukum mere aaka!” he would say and I would quip “Dear Genie I would so like to eat Pizza!”
Till I was 17 I had not even heard what pizza was. Broke or unfinanced we were it
was hardly likely to go and have a pizza in a hotel that cost 30 rupees!!!
It was a fortune for us back then! But my genie found out a
joint in Malad which was a road side shack that
gave out pizza for 15 rupees, “We
could share it!”…he said. And that was our real date…six in the winter evening
we walked for an hour from Kandivali to Malad. Transport cost, we had to save!
Besides that would give us so much time to spend with each other…I had that
heavenly Italian item for the first time in my life due to my Genie…I felt like
a Queen, given the most precious gift in the world. All I had, were my eyes, to
tell him how grateful I was…how loved I felt…!
Was it a Date? Decide for yourselves…folks…nothing could
rival that crisp evening, leisurely walk, hand in hand, weaving wispy yarns of
nothingness…
And what happens when the Aaka
decides to get on that date ride…we go to a station side joint. I am declaring
loud and clear that it was my treat and I will pay and blah blah blah…he knew
my modest bearings and so the bill was just 12 rupees, for a samosa and chat
puri. And your highness opened her purse. To my utter horror and embarrassment
my two five rupees notes were- not there!
Mom sometimes took to pay the vegetable or iron person…I
looked up and the consternation on my face told him…he magnanimously opened his
purse to find only 50 paise!!!
Now I dug my purse…turned it upside down and pulled out every
charana, aathana, bees paise…we had a 20 paise coin just
disappearing…the heap of chillar…finally
did amount to 12 rupees precise…I felt so tumultuously jubilant. I had the
money and could pay…Oh wow…the waiter had a task counting while we giggled at
each other…and the guy was generous enough to not ask for a tip…I am sure he
did not want chillar…and so concluded
a cute disaster!
I was afraid he will
come out and fire me but he kept giggling at the ludicrous nature of the whole
episode, the poor waiter’s plight, and here I found my Mr. Right, who accepted
me…clumsiness and all.
Our peculiar romance always found a way to tug at my heart
with such episodic embarrassingly sweet moments when my heart forgot to breathe
at the disarming loyalty and understanding he brought at the same time doling
out the most romantic moments in the most unexpected of places.
Just when I thought there can be no more than deep friendship
and it was worthless to dream any further…he stands there in the screeching
crowded bus stop with millions around, on a particular scorching day and says… “I wanna say something to you…
…I Love You” three
simple words- no going down on the knees, no flowers routine, no rings, just a
promise! I love you and if you shall have me, I shall be with you…
My destiny
was sealed even before I was born…for better or for worse…in illness and
health…come hell or high water…round chapattis or bread and butter…I had to
return this simple plea in front of the Pandemonium around which was nothing
compared to the inner surge…I said “I do!”
and have done so from that day…with my Mr. Right who sauntered into my heart
with vows made in a different lifetime…to accept and honour each other…no
matter what!
P.S.- I still do not make round chapattis. He
likes to eat bread! Nanima in heaven, shaking her head at her predictions side-lined…Mr.
Rights do that- take your wrong and make it Right!!!
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