Homeschooling - A Way of Life, Not a Policy or a Fad

Yes! We four home-school! Me, my husband and my two children. At the time of writing this, my elder son, Shahen, is 18. My younger son, Shahaan, is 13. They embody the principles of homeschooling and truly live it up each day. They are not attached to any formal institutions and so have free rein of their days. In any given moment, they have complete freedom with regards to what they shall do. As parents, we do not offer any proposals, suggestions or influence as to what they may do in any given hour. They have complete freedom of choice with regard to what they choose to pursue, how they pursue. They decide which book they will read, from which internet source they will browse. They may decide to not do anything at all in a given hour or day, which is rare. They are constantly up to gaining a line of know-how and abundantly share with us as we meet each other. 

Dinner time is the general discovery and excitement time as we share all that was discovered. A TED talk, a stand-up act, a film, a thought. All four of us are together and yet pursue individual goals and interests while simultaneously available for any support the other might need. Last few months, Nozzer's creative project, his web-series 'Anntaraal'. We shot every Sunday, each pooling in whatever capacities we could. Now, he is passionately involved in the post production process and time to time emerges proudly to share his master piece strokes. I am involved in my teaching and preparing grade ten students for their Boards, revisiting my own psychology training, creating workshops, online/offline and offering them on topics ranging from homeschooling, Self Hypnosis, Reiki and others that surface from time to time. The only way to ask the children to innovate is to do it yourself. If we put out the zeal for life, the children most definitely catch it and refine it even better. I can safely declare my elder knows more about Psychology than me and boy, am I proud of it! My little one educates me about canines, a topic about which I absolutely have no clue. What he shares is astounding. Homeschooling has paved paths for them and now they gloriously walk on it, creating their own navigation bars and have ton of fun too. 

Shahen pursues Psychology with all the devotion that he has within him. He is in the second year of his undergraduate course in Psychology at the Indira Gandhi National Open University. He already is a Practitioner of Positive Psychology & Hypnotherapy- Certified and Practising. As he quotes 'Schools hiring my services look at my age & my credentials but my clients are only interested in how I support them and aid them in transformations!' This confidence is what Homeschooling and we as parents have infused in him. We strove to introduce him to a world of possibility. He is his own resource. He has learned to see himself as his Resource and deeply pulls into his inner wealth when he presents himself to a group of people as a public speaker. Very recently, he was invited to his ex-college to speak on Positive Psychology and Hypnotherapy. He conducted a live hypnosis session for an audience of 150, consisting of his ex-teachers, students he would have been classmates with and several other distinguished authorities from the field of Psychology. Those attending the session were enthralled with the relaxation they felt. His social media inbox has not stopped buzzing ever since. 

He doesn't stop to gloat on his laurels. That’s learning from the Home-schooling philosophy. Enjoy the high and then move on. 

He is currently offering Psychological Questionnaires and Self Designed Workshop 'Wellbeing in One Week' (W. O. W.) ©. He has enrolments and we are thrilled. 

The trend is clear. Skill-sets are important. You need to learn to deliver. Your degrees and certificates may help but ultimately, the person that shows up, with all that he or she is, matters. As Homeschooling parents, we endeavoured to find ways to inculcate skills. Yes, we meet old-school (pun intended) people who frown upon this but we wish them luck and move ahead on our journey. For our journey matters, not their opinion. 

We have inculcated a valuable faith in our own internal voice and that is unshakable. 

My younger son has done absolutely no academics from the past year-and-a-half. However, he has devoured copiously every bit of net content related to his pet topic - Canines. He breathes them. Ask him anything about Canine behaviour, breeds, habits and stuff, he is quick to let you know. He is sensitive to how we talk about it. 

Honouring his love for canines, we began meeting and talking to people who work in this area. We came in contact with few foster personnel, rescue workers, animal welfare activists. We tried contacting the leading Canine Behaviourists in Mumbai. Most didn't reply. The ones who did, asked us to wait till he is 18. Their reason: 'Only after 18, one can handle big dogs.' 

Shahaan’s hurt reply, 'Mom, I can handle pups and the earlier you start, the better, isn't it?' 

I can't disagree.

So another lesson Homeschooling taught us is Perseverance. We don't stop at the first 'No' nor on the tenth ‘No’. We keep looking for a way till we don't find it. I am extremely certain that there is a Canine Behaviourist who is equally enthusiastic and appreciative of a 13-year old as we parents are. 

Until then he gathers his knowledge and improves upon his resources. Soon a Canine, his own pet, we shall have to complete his longing. ‘What about his Academics?’,  we are asked often. He will be giving his examination via National Institute of Open Schooling (NIOS) when he turns 14. He has chosen as of now to not join any College.

He has enough socialisation. He heads the battalion in the building complex and recently the brother duo cycled all the way to Manori Beach and back. Adventures and Companions, they create themselves. Again, a Homeschooling lesson of internal resourcing.

All we need, we create. We don't look for answers of 'How to do.' from others. We observe keenly and find ways. We go to personnel, meet them, talk to them, find our resonance and learn. We invest in teachers who embrace us. All four of us have learned different skills in the last six years from different teachers. 

At home too, my children are resources. At times, we come home from work to dinner fixed by my elder son. He understands when we have a hard day. He understands when we need rest and/or a break. In every chore of the house we have four pairs of hands. None of us get to have an entitled existence unless one is unwell or injured. 

The younger one is our Sherlock Holmes. He is somehow privy to which thing is where in our household. From food-grains to a screw driver. He knows it! Now instead of searching and wasting time, we simply ask him. 

At 13, He is the 'fix-man'- fixing spectacles, the projector (our preferred alternative to television) and the laptop. He knows what is left in the vegetable and grocery Section. He remembers what requires fixing in the house and garden. Self-sufficiency forms the cornerstone of our household. From making tea to frying eggs to making basic dal-rice, he knows it all. If required, he along with his sibling mops, dusts, rearranges stuff and cleans utensils and clothes. 

We get a hand in everything. Dudes decided to go domestic-help-free and made our home freer than ever. Now there is no one else responsible for the house cleaning and managing. "Give us the salary you give them for pretence cleaning", was quoted with circumstantial evidence. Post that, we have been free of domestic service. It has been four months now. 

It is a way of Life, woven in the fabric of Daily living. One has to find one’s own way. Time and again, we have been asked queries related to our way of living as they wish to apply it in their own life. I attempt to answer some questions fielded to me recently. See if you can find your own insights. 

'How to do Homeschooling?' 

1. Begin by reading about it. Thinking how your children and family will adapt to it. Think about the long term and short term goal for your children and yourself too. 

2. Attend the India Homeschooling Conference (IHC) that happens each year. Meet families there. Interact with them. Gather information that you need. 

3. If you insist I meet you, follow the protocol. I give you the link to my free blogs. You read them. If you want a paid interaction, there are two ways:  a two days Whatsapp interaction or you can talk to all four of us via Zoom Meetings App. Ask us all that you wish to. However do remember these are paid interactions. 'Oh but I just want to talk!' Yes we will, in a paid format. We have stopped interacting with random strangers who take up our valuable time. 

The daily hum drum of living, your child's interests, your family values, all require attention. Only you can decide after deep thought. 

'Can you do Homeschooling for my children?' 

No, I cannot. When you insource education for your children it is called home-schooling not when I teach your children. Life is a vast learning each minute. It requires consistent upgrading on your part to know yourself and your progeny and goals of your family. If you still think in terms of only history, geography, engineering, medicine you haven't even begun to understand home-schooling, much less apply in your life. In that case I suggest educate some more and read some more and meet the experts. Not the self-proclaimed ones but rather families that have gone through few developmental phases with their children as home-schoolers. Search them. You will find a treasure. 

'How to find a Teacher for Homeschooling?' 

You do not understand home-schooling if you ask this. Done. End of Discussion. Don't Homeschool. Very acrimonious this may sound but you will do more harm than good to your child. Neither will you enjoy home-schooling nor will you know how to. If you and a teacher decides what a child may do at any given point of time, where is the freedom we speak of in home-schooling? The child is still at the mercy of adults and exercises no choice with regards to what they may learn or not learn. If it makes you uncomfortable to give the child free rein then I suggest you wait; reflect on what attracts you to home-schooling? What makes you think you cannot teach your child what needs teaching? Why do you not trust your child to learn what he or she needs to? What makes you want to find a teacher to teach? What specific need or matter you want to teach? If it is school subjects you want to teach, how is it any different than a school?

If you have to find a teacher, then let the child be in school. It will save you the trouble of searching. There are many teachers in the school. You don't have to find them. Remember, when you home-school, You, are the teacher. Find yourself, involve your children in your journey. It will be a wonderful life then. 

'How will you support me if I home-school my child?’ 

I cannot. It is your decision. Your life! Your family! Your children! I can share my experiences. When someone says 'support', they essentially want a guide who will sort out their educational arenas, offer tuitions, worksheets, online exams, plus, convince their family. I can't and I won't. Every single minute if you wish to be micromanaged by someone, one must be careful, for the tools to navigating this journey are 'Free-thinking' 'Innovating', 'Self-Reliance'. Unless you have them, home-schooling creates a void. There is nobody to tell you what to do. Every hour, you have to fill up with meaningful activities. Every route you will have to chart out. There are no maps, no navigation bars. Each one makes their own beautiful island and lives peacefully, undisturbed. For the focus is on your own path, your own beautiful new world that you are creating! The support comes from inside and others can share experiences and show you what they have done. You have to take that, juxtapose and apply it in your life as it works for you. I am far too busy in myself and my children to take time out to support you. 

My child has ADHD, Dyslexia will home-schooling help me? 

Home-schooling is not a treatment to anything. It is unfortunate that your child is diagnosed shabbily. For ADHD, dyslexia are overused in the school system. Yes, these conditions are real and require management. Read it. They are conditions, not diseases. Hence the surrounding needs management. What activities you choose requires observation and smart thinking. A child with ADHD is having excess energy which can be channelized. A child with Dyslexia can be trained to read or hear information. There is no one way to gain knowledge. Work around the requirements of the child. Schools cannot do it with so many children around so probably someone suggested you try home-schooling. It is not an ice-cream to try. It is not a fad to be tried on. Home-schooling is a philosophy to imbibe. Sure school pressure relenting is one way to ease the child but your child still needs lot more. If you can provide a happy playground to grow, please home-school, but do not expect someone else to support. Find your own support systems. You will need this unique regard for your child's limitations as well as strengths. Allow the strengths to build and limitations to dwindle. Once the inner is strong, the outer is a cakewalk. 

'How to implement it in Rural India?' 

This is a question I would like to answer a bit indepth. First and foremost, Home-schooling is a philosophy. Am I repeating myself? They say repeating ingrains an idea (hopefully). It has to be adopted by a family out of choice, out of conscious will to create a life for themselves that does not depend on formal institutions. 

The word 'Implement' suggests a move by an external agency. Who are you to 'implement' anything in Rural India? Do you have any such authority to do so? I don't. 

As a parent, I am selfishly vested only and only, implementing everything in my family. Half the times, I don't succeed. I am yet to reach that social conscience to revamp an entire rural India with my experiment of a way of life which worked for me and my family. 

Besides, most rural and tribal India is anyway Home-schooling by necessity and not choice. There is a dearth of schools and teaching personnel there. In the swankiest places of Mumbai, Bangalore, Pune just to mention few, if schools are in doldrums, what do you suppose happens in Rural India? Schools are just a classroom and one disinterested low paid teacher. The children there mostly home-school, working in farms, factories or doing menial jobs alongside. 

If anything, a different system of education that empowers them and uplifts them is required, not 'We cannot go to English schools and therefore we are not educated' esteem. 

Even if they don't learn English, they still are valuable and can lead a meaningful life. Going to School for Rural India must not become the only ticket to progress. Becoming self-sufficient must be the goal for Rural India. Is that not what all the educational degrees promise us? A way to earn money, position in society, broadening of world view! Can that be achieved only if one gets into an IB, IG or some such foreign board or an expensive national board? Why would a tribal child foraging in the jungle be interested in a pizza recipe or birthday letter invitation where they talk of cakes and chips?? Why would a rural child earning ten rupees a day want to study economics as laid out in our textbooks?

If anything, the Government needs to redefine educational goals and definitions for Rural India. They need to consider a system that addresses the needs of rural people, provide material that is closer home, create a module that is short-term but create a sustainable outcome which brings them a dignified life. The Government can do it. You and I cannot. I strongly recommend you to care for the progeny the Lord endowed you with. That is your primal duty. If every family were to get into this happy space of discovering themselves and constantly evolving and becoming better versions of themselves every few months or days, we would have a meaningful time on this planet while we are here.

As a family, we work happily in our little world. From time to time we give you a glimpse of what we are about. We all are avidly on social media. Connect to us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. Just be sure to witness a very varied life. We don't always yap about only Home-school.  We will offer you courses, seminars, workshops and our outings to learn from and gather your insights from the posts we put up. 

 - Sonnal Pardiwala