Itna Karo Na Mujhe Pyaar...

ITNA KARO NA MUJHE PYAAR

Indian Television has a deep impact on the viewers. If handled sensitively and cleverly it can bring lot of discussion on the dinner table. It can become a source of inculcating values and traditions.

For one and half year, well almost, my family was hooked to ten o clock for BHARAT KA VEER PUTRA-MAHARANA PRATAP. Side results ~ Fabulous Hindi Diction and Vocabulary!!! Talk on Patriotism and bravery and Indian History.

So when a Show uses a Tag line Spouses can Divorce but Parents Cannot, I sit up and take note. This is a show, then I want to follow. This is the show then I want to bring on my Dining Table to discuss with my teenage kids about understanding each other. It is a way of getting them to talk about Parenting styles and their motives behind it. It is also a glimpse into what Generation today wants and how that gap can be bridged. It is also a way to understand that besides being parents, they are humans who raise kids who also have tears and their own aspirations.

Kudos to BALAJI TELEFILMS for so much as even touching a very very Sensitive topic! When Essayed by Ronit Roy and Pallavi Kulkarni…it becomes a treat to watch. Both possess the maturity required to portray hurt, passion, restraint and vulnerability.

To take a short route in the story lane. We have a mother who has two kids…Nishi (Rhea Sharma) who is 18 and son Arav (Yatin Mehta) around 17 maybe. The mother is a single parent who works as an administrative head of a Hospital. Efficient and organised. Prim and proper…disciplined and curt. She has a mother and a stay at home-type maid to aid her house hold. One friend who is also a surgeon but has issues with deciding. He hates blood so he will not perform surgery but a happy go lucky dude played by Darshan Pandya…..

Story opens with Nishi the 18 year old wanting to marry a cute boy Jignesh (Mehul Vyas)…he truly loves her…has a loving gujju family…all gujjus are loving and informal.

Mother vehemently is against the wedding as she feels it will ruin her daughter’s life. She herself has married young and feels her past is repeating. She is hurt and wounded from the past and wants to protect her child. She also wants her child to create a stable future for herself. Nothing wrong with that but well gujju family wants their son to wed…and mother wants Nishi to wait. Typically what erupts is family tensions…past lessons haunting…The maid feels that mother needs to love and so a childish attempt is made to get the surgeon and Mother hooked…I admit I skipped those few episodes. Cannot see emotions manipulated thus...avoid such immature tracks where such seasoned actors are there to give you moments!!!

They then search their Father, once the reunion of that false romance fails. They feel if father intervenes or changes her perception then mother may relent. So here is a mother who the son too feels is over powering and controlling. The son wants a Bike...mom gets a Laptop as she feels this will further his quest for knowledge. Here kids feel stifled at all aspects of their life controlled by mom. They love her, respect her but have grouses to settle.

Then we have a father Mr Nachiket Khanna or Neil…renowned cardiac surgeon in New York. Handsome, dynamic, sought after surgeon. His first aim of life is to save his patients. He loves to listen to music while he operates. He knows for sure where he is with his patient’s life. He is efficient, confident, aloof…with someone making an attempt on her own life in order to win his affection….which he dismisses. Loyalty to a marriage bygone??? We will soon know. So for, he does not acknowledge discussions and hints of his past wife or marriage…neither rises to it nor indulges in it.

His kids miss him as he gives a miss to his child’s academic achievement function. He thoughtfully remembers to send her a suave car for a gift. The daughter is more pining for her father’s attention then expensive gift. She hands it over to her kid brother. Another Parenting style…aloof…providing for all worldly needs but not giving the much needed warmth of a dad’s love.

Neil is called to India to the very hospital for surgery and his sister is livid…makes every futile but frantic and loud attempts to dissuade him.

When he does land up in India, their car collides with Nishi and her boyfriend. His surgeon instinct gets into action against all the desperate opposition!!! It was an action packed moment to witness!!! A Doctor has to spring into action no matter what or where!!! He takes them to the hospital and definitely throws that charming weight around of a Doctor who will not listen to Nonsense and will not tolerate delays…threatens to sue the Faculty if something happens to the wounded folks. That can silence any medical staff effectively. We enjoy it more and feel thrilled for we know he is saving his own daughter!!

Once in the operation theatre he is efficiency personified. He knows what he is doing and encourages her to come out of this whirl…commanding, cajoling in the most sensitive ways. It does give Nishi a far gone memory of her father who is cajoling her out from under the table. She is timid and afraid but father reassures… “Till I am there nothing will happen to you…” Does every daughter not want to hear those reassuring words from her Father? Are they not the most magical words that rings in every girl’s heart. These are the reassurances that give her the confidence to face the world…raise her esteem and Make her Father a Hero for Her and a Formidable Rival for her Husband later.

So they help Nishi to come out too as she subconsciously recognises in that call her father. She is alright now and Doctor dear leaves with his cell number for further updates on the girl’s health.

Goaded by the urgency of his sister, he leaves after the scheduled surgery for which he came to India. But Nishi will not stay put and we are in for another beautiful, poignant moment. She comes to meet him at the Airport. He is not yet aware of his connection.  She gently and expectantly lets in… “You are my father” She is so vulnerable in that moment asking him “I exist because of you. Will you accept my Existence???” Restraint…iron control over his face…just tad bit betrayal of expressions that recognised and then masked any outward show of emotions. It must come from years and years of masking turmoil of being hurt and being away from one set of kids. Cryptic and curt statements are asked and answered. Nishi wants to know why he left her mother. He curtly asks her to find out from the mother. In that one raw moment he betrays the fact that he is sliding in the family zone. Phone calls continue asking him to come for security check but he stands and converses to his new found daughter. He refuses to call the mother to ask her to reconsider accepting Nishi’s proposal to marry. Nishi is equally determined to give that card and ask her father to consider calling up. She is hurt and proud and behind all the Bravado I think she would have done with a hug from her Papa dear!!

Papa dear too waits after she walks away…surmising, observing his gal shedding tears. What is the effect we know when he returns to his this set of kids and suddenly realises he has missed so much part of their precious childhood. He awkwardly and made up cheer asks his 16 year old for her grade reports. She is so thrilled!!! Her father had actually shown interest in her in about years, maybe. He wants to know her future plans and if she had a Boyfriend???

Daughter gleefully informs him that she is just 16 and if she would have someone she would share it. All are surprised! Against his own will he does dial the number of his Ex-wife...rather mother of his children…At first, they disconnect...How do you talk to a spouse after 15 years??? It is a Volcanic Eruption waiting to happen with Accusations spilling out and Complaints tumbling down. He stoically asks her not to interfere and let go off her habit of controlling other people’s life. She asking him to buzz off and never be around again.

Captured and portrayed sensitively by Pallavi…First comes the anger and erupts at her kids. Next come the tears when alone. It must feel that all her hard work and struggle was up as a question mark when her own daughter goes to a father she would have never ever wanted to go to. Tears come thick as rain for all the insults hurled and Pain Revisited. The dormant so far suppressed anger resurfaces and with it the Agony of all those Lonely Painful years. Clap!!! Clap!!! It takes awesome amount of life experiences to get to the heart of mirroring this level of deep bitterness and loneliness. Tears and tearing loneliness to be reflected needs Talent and a certain beauty of character.

Next surfaces the pride and she walks in the boy’s house and fixes their wedding albeit bitterness reigning…Nishi calls up her daddy dear to thank and Invite her Dad to the Dday!!! Their conversation is cut short by another skype call from India giving him the News that His Ex-wife has remarried and moved on. He pretends non-chalance but inwardly he is shaken and torn by the news. A certain part of his never had moved on…and is hurled the same way he hurls the glass expressing his deepest anger only for his private moments.

The scene with the foreign Date I will over-look…unnecessary…what captured my choking lump of throat was two siblings realising they have a family...mother…they have invited them for wedding…they hug each other first and then muster up enough courage to ask their Dad that they want to go and see their other family. Both hate each other and yet I surmise there is deep love behind that hatred that will surface if given the right circumstances!!

A show when it brings touching moments to reminisce…a show that touches a chord into our own pain and brings forth our own untapped memories…a show that reflects tears and reunions becomes a part of daily life of us people who come back to their television sets to de-stress and yet find something of our own to dip in. A show when brings healing too becomes an Epic that will be remembered for years to come.

Avidly watching and waiting to collect vulnerable moments and portrayal of a family coming together which should always have been together in the first place. All families need to be bonded with each other. No sibling ever needs to be separated from the other…Partners may strive to be the parents their kids want for themselves so that they can securely soar and dream instead of being bitter…Do give us positive healing moments…do not give into dramas that stretch and drag…you have a lovely theme full of tears and smiles.

Focus on creating memories …I will keep coming back at ten thirty!!!

© Sonnal Pardiwala

 *the picture used is a screenshot. The writer claims no right for same.