A question that needs to be asked…by each Parent!
Mrs Dubey,
You are
requested to come and see me immediately regarding your daughter’s progress.
Regards.
Read the
note of her eight year old Grishma’s tuition teacher. Her heart started beating
fast at the thought of a meeting with her ward’s teacher. God knows what she
will get to know about her child. She looked at her tiny girl playing in the
balcony terrace with her dolls. She was making a doll house for them. She
called her out. “Grishu, darling tell me how are your studies going on?” Grishma made a sombre face and nodded
and went back to her doll house.
She sighed
and looked around her house. There were some utensils lying in the sink. She
needed to sort out her wardrobe, she had to send her girl’s uniform for ironing...she had dinner to cook! Her endless chores stared at her and her husband had
yet to return from his out station trip. She got little help in her house
chores except the top servant who was regularly irregular.
Irritated at
her own state of affairs, she picked up her cell phone to distract herself for
a while. There was regular round of selfie updates and usual posts on various
happenings. She came upon her regular card reader’s updates and stopped. She
meant to send her a message to do a live reading for her on various occasions
and had somehow prevaricated…today she just felt a tad bit too low and on an
impulse she decided she would send that message she meant to.
She came on
that page and wrote a short heart felt write up on all that was pulling her
down. She knew they were not colossal
problems yet they were pressing her down just the same. She could talk to her
friends and she had but they would come up with answers that were not so
satisfactory.
"Oh! Keep a
cook." ( Her husband was okay with that but her daughter felt food should be cooked
by mumma only!)
"Children
are lazy" (She knew her little one was a diligent worker . She was anything but
lazy)
"Keep a
full time servant for day work and she will take care of your child too!"(
Expensive option and untrustworthy)
So, she wrote
to her hoping that she will have to wait for a long time and maybe will get
the positive dope of usual spiritual stuff.
To her
surprise her cell vibrated and there was a short message that there will be a
blog and a live update on her query. There was assurance no names will be
taken! Her mood lifted and she felt good at having a response this fast. It
made her feel so…wanted.
Nothing more was asked of her ,only that an update
but no names will be taken and she had seen her previous updates she knew the
advice will be to the point and yet anonymous!
Rest of the
day was spent on daily chores and the regular getting through. She decided to
meet the teacher the following day. She kept checking the cell phone as she
knew that the blog could be up any time and she wanted to be the first one to
read and see it.
Next day
went in a rush of morning tiffins and stuff. She felt so out of control of
everything. The tiffin she made had brought a wrinkle from her child. She had
spilled milk on the kitchen table and it
needed heavy cleaning. By the time she finished all of that and frustrated and
flustered she picked up her cell phone. To her delight, she saw the blog and
live update. The voice was firm but clear and…humphhhhh…what an advice she had
dished out!
Take it
easy…everything need not be in your control all the time…Next time ask
“How much
does this matter? Can this be really as monumental as it seems? In the long run
of life how essential is this? Can I have an alternative to this?”
She was
promising that things will change once you begin asking these gentle questions
to yourself whenever you are stressed.
She felt
happy that someone had taken the time to dwell on her situation and do a live
update and even blog on it. She read it dutifully, sent in her thank you
message and decided to let it pass. She will keep this knowledge to herself.
No one needs to know her little experiment with Card reading.
She looked at the
Card that showed a Dolphin jumping smoothly into the waters…for her to be able
to glide like that it must require some amount of trust on the natural forces
to take their own course.
As humans however we were not Dolphins and we could
not dive in and out of water and live life. Well, we had to…do things…like go
and have that uncomfortable meet with the tuition teacher and hear what she has
to say.
She
collected her Grishma and decided to go meet the teacher when she was on her
way home. She can leave her to the class
thereafter and get on with life. She cannot take it easy as suggested , but the
words kept going around her mind.
She was
ushered in the cabin of the class teacher where the petite woman came in with
an air of importance, I have so many important things to do!
"Good
afternoon Mrs. Dubey I am glad you came."
"Yes ma’am
tell me how is Grishma doing?"
"Oh she is OK…but in Maths she keeps making silly mistakes which I think are so expensive!”
She continued putting papers in front of her of all the class tests she had
taken.
“History- she
lost one mark in Fill in the blanks and Geography, she could have done better
in Diagrams….but what worries me…" she chewed on her lip.
Mrs. Dubey
waited with a sense of foreboding at the verdict about to come in.
“She just
cannot memorize the last paragraph of the English poem. I am so sure she will
get 48/50 as this poem is going to come for two marks…”
Just then
her cell rang and she excused herself …leaving Mrs.Dubey with her Child’s predicament.
And the
words “Take it easy…ask how important this is in the long run?”
And she
stopped…for that moment to do just that…typically she would have apologised and
called out Grishma and asked her to do better, work harder…would have promised
to the teacher to look into the matter seriously…would have fired herself for
not paying attention!
But today in
that moment she decided to ask…How important it is if the child did not really
mug up the two paragraphs? What if she got one mark less in Math…She looked
closely at the papers and almost admired the neat work and lovely handwriting.
Maybe the
teacher from her standpoint had to ensure full marks and pull up students to do
better. She was a mother…Does she need to buy that philosophy?
Her teacher
was back from probably another round of feedback to some other parent over the
phone. She looked at Mrs. Dubey anticipating defensive outrage or assurance.
Mrs Dubey
decided to give None! She simply asked “Can I take Grishma with me early, we
have to go out.” The teacher looked a little taken aback. But she nodded and
called for Grishma. The girl looked sheepish, tired and a little scared.
God!!! What
impact this meeting was having on this little soul? She was shrinking expecting
a scolding or lecture from both the ladies. She wanted to hug her girl and tell
her the infamous Philosophy the Cards had given her “Take It Easy My Child” As
an adult she had lost this ability to step back and assess her situation in a
different light. She had become a robot in just giving automatic and expected
reactions to various situations , without really giving it a thought to how it
is shaping us …how it is making us go in a one way zone to stress!
She had to
admit to herself that she would automatically pass this same responses to her
girl as she grows up. Were the two marks so important that her daughter should
cringe and think that she is unimportant?
She decided
she will change her outlook and first she had to relax her angel. She came home
and instead of asking her to go get her homework sheets she suggested that they
sit at the terrace on the swing with a milkshake. Grishma looked surprised and
relaxed a bit. All the way she was expecting reprimands.
"Grishu
your teacher said you are not able to learn a poem para..."
"Yes mom I
am trying…came the earnest rejoinder…"
“How would
you feel if you get 48/50 instead of 50/50 ?”
Grishma
shrunk but something in her mom’s relaxed posture or wide Grin made her bewildered…she
kept silent…
“ What will
happpeeennn…Volcano will erupt?...oh Grishuuuu…its ok darling…chill
sweetheart…I know you think I will shout but…let us just say…it is ok…if you
like…lose few marks…but I do not want you to lose this charming smile and furrow
your brow…we will work but we will take it easy…hmmm???”
We will take
it easy mom…yes…I love you…
Grishma
launched herself into her mom’s lap and kissed her on the cheeks...milkshake of
rose reeking…and shaking the Swing…
That evening
they talked about so many things and studied a bit …Grishma seemed so happy at
the change…she slept with a smile and a promise she will try harder…too which
she said…
“No
sweetiepie…Take it easy…”
Before
sleeping ,she send another smiley round of thank you to this unknown person who
had added quality and a formula to no stress…
No long
winding philosophies …a simple perspective!
Cards had
helped her look at life a bit differently and that was a positive dope…
Tomorrow
will be another day with the challenges more or less the same…but she will say “Take it easy…how monumental is it? Is there
a different way?”
There always
is!!!
-by Sonnal Pardiwala
