Sunday, December 4, 2016

Finding Mr. Right

She is so dark!!! There will be trouble finding someone who will take her?” 

You should not go for your higher education. It will be tough finding a groom that educated for you?

Look at your chapattis…you do not know to make them well…what will you feed your husband?”

Bread!!!” was my belligerent reply to this well-crafted putdown to my resistance to display my culinary skills or refine them. After all, that is what women do!

I lived in twin worlds. One that portrayed a demanding man who will want fair skin in a woman to find her adorable…one for whom I must terminate my education so that his ego remains intact…one who should be served perfect and warm rotis for a meal as and when he demands…these were the traits I was supposed to inculcate to keep the Mr. Right once he decides “to take me…

Whoa!!! I was supposed to be the warm roti…perfect, white and just soft enough to not be abrasive.

Another world held my romantic dreams…a man from Rudyard Kipling’s ‘If…’ who would look beyond my skin colour or not even notice it! Someone who would eat ‘bread’ when I do not churn out those chapattis…heehee…too much to ask I thought as I grew up in this misogynist male worshipping world with my sharp, clanging, rebellious to the moon attitude.

Always in my dad’s tee which I wore to the college, I spewed sharp opinions to all and sundry- daring a Mr. Right to find me alluring if he may!!! Fully knowing that none in his right mind would want to ‘tame this shrew’…and to my super surprise God had made one just Right for me…

We were 17…and met at the college Bus stop where we all hung out during breaks. Back in 1990 we had only parking lots of bikes where we college folks sat around for hours or the college canteen for the upper middle class who would get in to grab a bite.

We glanced at each other and on hindsight it does appear like we recognised each other…a yonder bond, carved and sealed aeons ago. The souls recognised at some levels but yet we needed to acquaint ourselves with the avatars we had donned this lifetime.

Chalk and cheese...Me a loud mouthed vociferous gal…he, a whiff of comforting whisper. I threw my weight around…he was comfortable to be around. I was Dare me and I will show you…and he, Care for me and I will soothe you. I was noise, he was poise!

We began travelling together to college together and before I knew, I began to get up early just to be with him. Our running statement was “If you do not come by the 6:10 train I will go in the 6:18 train!

Was that a Date? It felt so…we were together in the gents’ compartment looking into each other’s eyes oblivious of all those brow raising folks and scandalised eyes. It was a lovely world where only we existed. The twenty minute travel was our first tryst with dating. We were too young to ask each other out anywhere to spend time and too broke to ever consider that. No pocket money was the rule in my house and he got maybe a 50 or 100.

The bus stop and the train and the double decker bus routes were our spaces to get to know each other.

If a friendship lasted three days, three months and three years, it would last forever!”, quipped I magnanimously one day to him in a train journey. I had this habit of passing expansive statements!

One chilly December morning he rang the bell of my house with a card…I WAS completely nonplussed at his presence at 5:45 a.m.! He handed over the Card “Our friendship completed three days and today three months, and I am hoping that it lasts for three years and forever…

If I had a physical heart to give out I would have handed it over to him right there. In that moment we were in the date bubble half opened door…a girl who lost her heart…a young prince charming smiling with stars in his eyes and promising and demanding- not a fair skin but a fair friendship. Can any amount of money or five star Hotels Gourmet or Candles even stand in front of that?

We were more than friends and yet not there…travelling together with 
friends in train and bus but always immersed in each other…

Hukum mere aaka!” he would say and I would quip “Dear Genie I would so like to eat Pizza!” Till I was 17 I had not even heard what pizza was. Broke or unfinanced we were it was hardly likely to go and have a pizza in a hotel that cost 30 rupees!!!

It was a fortune for us back then! But my genie found out a joint in Malad which was a road side shack that  gave out pizza for 15 rupees, “We could share it!”…he said. And that was our real date…six in the winter evening we walked for an hour from Kandivali to Malad. Transport cost, we had to save! Besides that would give us so much time to spend with each other…I had that heavenly Italian item for the first time in my life due to my Genie…I felt like a Queen, given the most precious gift in the world. All I had, were my eyes, to tell him how grateful I was…how loved I felt…!

Was it a Date? Decide for yourselves…folks…nothing could rival that crisp evening, leisurely walk, hand in hand, weaving wispy yarns of nothingness…

And what happens when the Aaka decides to get on that date ride…we go to a station side joint. I am declaring loud and clear that it was my treat and I will pay and blah blah blah…he knew my modest bearings and so the bill was just 12 rupees, for a samosa and chat puri. And your highness opened her purse. To my utter horror and embarrassment my two five rupees notes were- not there!

Mom sometimes took to pay the vegetable or iron person…I looked up and the consternation on my face told him…he magnanimously opened his purse to find only 50 paise!!!

Now I dug my purse…turned it upside down and pulled out every charana, aathana, bees paise…we had a 20 paise coin just disappearing…the heap of chillar…finally did amount to 12 rupees precise…I felt so tumultuously jubilant. I had the money and could pay…Oh wow…the waiter had a task counting while we giggled at each other…and the guy was generous enough to not ask for a tip…I am sure he did not want chillar…and so concluded a cute disaster!

I was afraid he will come out and fire me but he kept giggling at the ludicrous nature of the whole episode, the poor waiter’s plight, and here I found my Mr. Right, who accepted me…clumsiness and all.

Our peculiar romance always found a way to tug at my heart with such episodic embarrassingly sweet moments when my heart forgot to breathe at the disarming loyalty and understanding he brought at the same time doling out the most romantic moments in the most unexpected of places.

Just when I thought there can be no more than deep friendship and it was worthless to dream any further…he stands there in the screeching crowded bus stop with millions around, on a particular scorching day and says… “I wanna say something to you…

I Love You” three simple words- no going down on the knees, no flowers routine, no rings, just a promise! I love you and if you shall have me, I shall be with you…

My destiny was sealed even before I was born…for better or for worse…in illness and health…come hell or high water…round chapattis or bread and butter…I had to return this simple plea in front of the Pandemonium around which was nothing compared to the inner surge…I said “I do!” and have done so from that day…with my Mr. Right who sauntered into my heart with vows made in a different lifetime…to accept and honour each other…no matter what!

P.S.- I still do not make round chapattis. He likes to eat bread! Nanima in heaven, shaking her head at her predictions side-lined…Mr. Rights do that- take your wrong and make it Right!!!

This blogathon is supported by Woo, The most popular match making app in India with a base of over 3.5 million users.



  1. I really appreciate your professional approach. These are pieces of very useful information that will be of great use for me in future.

  2. Hey keep posting such good and meaningful articles.