Friday, May 13, 2016

Suicide ~ A Decision…Not A Phenomenon…


Suicide existed when there weren’t any psychological definitions attached to them. Suicides exist Today with all the Modern Jargon in place and long lists of things that can be done to prevent it…What  “Others” around the person may do…

Truth be told…harsh…raw…in the Face…hurtful…

IT IS A DECISION…FULLSTOP !!!

It is a decision a person has taken once what came out of “Pandora’s Box” have left them.

HOPE…Hope that guaranteed Pandora that she will never Desert mankind and yet she does take a break on and off…and those souls she deserts are the ones who decide to call it quits. These are the  ones who face a shutters down …they have tried all the Avenues…cried for help..asked for help...begged for help…thrown few tantrums…threatened dire consequences…screamed and kicked figuratively if not literally…hoped things will change and have arrived to this clear concise decision of “Ending it all”!

Often people feel it was “Heat of the moment” a rash move…a hasty act. It is not…

When they do decide to quit…they plan…they plan silently for the opportune time when they will be not disturbed…they take pains to get through the fool proof method…an irreparable…irreversible one. Its fatal in its finality. They seek no more attention…no more mercy…no more amends…its Exit they seek…Final…resounding and forever.

So its amusing when a case of suicide that catches Media attention makes the round…suddenly there is a plethora of advice that piles up in form of professional opinion to popular opinion. People talk avidly about how “Depression” as a Mental disease is receiving so little recognition…how it is a selfish Act…[ they did not care about their parents you see…}they stopped caring about self, long back…past caring about anyone. Popular notion thinks that if we were to sit patiently and talk about their woes …maybe...maybe we can bring them back from neverland…

Pure fallacy…It will not…the ones who have decided to get those veils out and cross over…absolutely will. They have decided…simple and silent…
The only one who can change this decision is their own self…if ever at all…that responsibility is only and only and only their own!!!

Why do I pass such a heavy statement??? For I have been in that Moment and know something. It was my choice to get there…AND my choice to walk back…No one knew until much much later I mustered courage enough to even confess…some scoffed at it as a lie…some pitied me…some found it as attention grabbing…but that Moment Was mine to hold on…and it was my decision to let it go and rebuild…LIFE!!!

Why then I wish to pen this!?

For I wish to point out a simple thing that it is the person’s Responsibility and no one else’s…

So many articles I read on signs of suicide…things you can do to avoid a “ potential suicide” if ever it can be done!!!

If all this works then why do we still have people jumping off the terraces...hanging onto “Fans”, going under a running Train, overdose of lethal drugs??? Why are we not able to stop them? We care…if we knew we would not let them. World is a nice place to be…People care for you. 

Things change…situations look up…phases move out…well…Do you think the person bent on Self Destruction Cares anymore…he or she knows all this and in spite of it has stopped feeling…for them it is Pack up time...Time to Go…

Others stop feeling responsible …the process had begun long back and very little could have been done. Recognize it within yourself when it occurs and see if it rings a bell towards a tendency.

Fortunately we all are born with a love for our own life. We will let go of it very very rarely and hang on to it for dear life. Be alert and explore within when we are going off the tangent and cut cool.

Seeking help where you shall ruminate again about how miserable your life is and some benevolent soul who nods sympathetically does not help…Take charge and Keep your life.

Stop playing Games with yourself…do we??? Play games??? Yes we do…how???

Look at an average Teenagers there are special ones... but for now let us focus on a technical average teenager who gets pocket money…goes to college…bunks lectures…uses the pocket money on sandwiches and movies and laments about their overstrict moms and dads…

They are so overbearing!!! They do not buy me this expensive….{maybe they really do not have the money to spare??}

They forced me to join this ….{ do they like bind your wrists and ankles on an auto and throw you in the college daily??}

They do not let me stay out for parties…hang out with my friends…{the one who uses screw you and  f### so frequently in their presence…has hair colour issues..like you seems to be going nowhere}

They are never happy with my marks …{ 60%+ with A.T.K.T galore]
Take this gym generation to professionals…so quick are they to blame the poor parents for stressing them…

Why do we not tell them…?

Dude!!! They still fund your teenage from food to studies and all the exorbitant demands in between…and still tolerate your switched off cell phones they spend a fortune in buying…if they do not agree on your choice of friends why not give them a benefit of doubt?? If the pocket money is less…why not get out of the education system you anyway hate and begin earning a decent salary. Your salary…your expense now would that be not cool??? Try it…

Do we tell the young gen to be self sufficient? We fear…kahii esa vesa na kar bethe…hmmmm

That brings us to the phase…To be or Not to be of suicide point…
Yes this is the phase when maximum attention is sought. Often mild attempts are made to scream out for help. Its not an Act but a cry for help…
or look closely an attempt to get what you want. 

How it will be dealt will develop the persona…lay more games further to hold people at ransom…or accept responsibility and learn and live…No manuals are available yet to actually give you a straight and run formula...but the people who stay in this phase are the ones who learn appeal to pity as the most manipulative device in relationships.

There is a Fatal phase where the so called issues are challenging…enough to run away…for some…

Less marks in public exams or Failure…


Inability to cope with a curriculum…

Abusive relationships…

Financial pressures…

Terminal illness and the painful tryst with invasive procedures without 
knowing the outcome and the resultant turmoil of drain on the family…yes it is a situation where Hope leaves one faster than slower...

Lately the Farmer’s suicide has also been catching the attention of the media and social organisations. The financial crisis envelops them so deeply that there seems to be no way out…however publicizing such events too seem to add to the available options to farmers undergoing financial quandary. Government of course is slow to wake up but other families and despairing souls move in and accept as a viable Exit option and so they Decide to implement it…

All the mentioned above situations have been faced and surmounted by many…so many have scored less and have lived to laugh at their academic state years later…for they looked at another aspects of themselves that were special to their own selves...

Inability to cope with a curriculum…its not the curriculum...it's you…you who cannot stand up and say “Hello…I cannot…I do not like it anymore…I want to give up and try something else!” We fear the parental guilt laden dialogue so very pedantic that we prefer to lay down our lives rather than face it…for the focus is still outside…

Understand this…

It is you at stake…your inner and outer happiness ,claim it…live it…if you can turn this bend you will mend things later…

Financial pressures…again look within…you have made some foolish decisions…you blundered…you messed up…no one else’s fault. If public defamation is what you expect…face it…it will pass..but life once laid down shall never come back to pass…Rebuild again is a chance you will get...How worse can it get??? Scandal??? Bankruptcy??? Arrest??? Property auction??? Your resource is you and you alone…rest all you can build…you can rebuild.

Abusive relationship is the most intimidating no escape route. So many tangles and the weakness is again…You!!!

What stops you on calling it quits with this person??? Is there a need for something social need for approval???A façade you maintain for prestige???Economic dependency for children??? Why would you tolerate kicks…name calling…insults…betrayal??? Do you not deserve better???Who is keeping you stagnant??? What devices are at play??? Ask relentlessly why??? 

If you are honest you  will know the reason why and find hopefully a way out for yourself…find out the drama strings at play here…we all love dramas…we love to cook up screaming matches…hysterical slapping sprees followed by profuse apologies and promises to not repeat...only to play out the drama yet again …that is where you begin seriously to toy with the idea of calling it quits…mentally building up scenarios of hanging yourself or seeing your adversaries sorry faces on your funeral...

STOP RIGHT THERE…YOU ARE PLAYING A DANGEROUS GAME...

You are somewhere giving yourself the right to die at the expense of struggling with the external issues and growing out of it and becoming Master of your destiny…if you will not…you will someday consider it as an option in your repertoire of options to bail yourself out in a singular “HOPE DOWN” moment….Do not enter this Mental romance with death Phase…it takes you straight to the terrace or ceiling Fan or sleeping pills…

It all boils down to a moment…a vacuum when It all feels just too much…and the best way to cope is…not to cope…all cries have been made…all tries have been made…all options considered and all outcomes weighed…and “making oneself absent” becomes a very attractive one…

So when this one person who was given the  gift of life did not take the responsibility to make it right for whatever reasons…what happens..
BLAME AND GUILT…

The person who left is beyond caring and so left…but the ones who remain…are filled with guilt and remorse…rewinding in a futile attempt to change something..anything…to have the person back…maybe talked a little more…maybe stayed with them…Survivor’s Guilt is what is so often neglected under the screaming Blame and burdensome guilt…The surviving relations would always be haunted with this death and the role they played or did not play in this gory situation.

Okay so we have a Law in place that says: suicide is punishable…the ones who left...do they care??? The ones who failed…well…would plead for mercy and often get it!!!

An attempt to taking one’s own life and succeeding is Suicide…A decision one makes…out of shame…hopelessness…despair...A moment when all is over…and yet it is not…It is over if we think it is and over if we  think it is…we survive if we wished to…harshest of circumstances…have been overcome…history is replete with such brave heart accounts…

Is there a Remedy to curtail this Decision?

Cut dramas as a way of responding to life…calmer approaches bring better results…sense of humor heals faster than tons of tears. Fill your life with busier activities that…the terraces seems far away…and tying a Noose around ceiling fan seems cumbersome…

Raise a Generation that lives in reality, assesses life rationally, admits to mistakes and feels they can be redressed. Let the psyche not have in their repertoire an action of this proportion in it.

The sun rises again…the day turns to night…people will be kind and cruel…situations will continue to be banal and relationships will continue to be oppressive…Yet there is a way out only if one thinks deeply and learns to accept responsibility for Self and its Action.

You failed…maybe the subject needs changing…your inclination changed…weigh it…change it to what you can cope…

Relationships…not getting enough attention…? Why run after someone why not create a Busy and meaningful life that people want to pursue you?? Out of love and respect.

Each one of us will take a call as to what shall we do when life confronts us with things not agreeable to us…people not willing to please…and all may come to a standstill…its we who need to stand tall…use all the reservoir of energy…God given energy to give that push to a force called Life…choose it…or else…

Well People…magazines…tabloids..media…would love to write about it and claim mileage…and Survivor’s shall shiver in the shadows of tragedy you leave behind for they will never figure out if anything they could have done to bring you back…

Nothing will…for you decided to Close the curtain…FULLSTOP.
                                                                                       
                                                                         Sonnal Pardiwala,
Internationally Certified Angel Card Reader.





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